The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system activation. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.
If you’ve spent years learning about the nervous system to better support your child, and now you’re ready to offer the same curiosity and compassion to yourself, then this episode is for you. 
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How core nervous system concepts like connection vs. protection, regulation, and felt safety apply to your trauma-shaped nervous system
Why reactions rooted in watchdog and possum states make sense for you, too 
How sensitized stress responses, state-dependent functioning, and a narrowed window of tolerance explain why insight alone isn’t enough
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
When Parenting Triggers Your Own Trauma Part 1 of 6 {EP 250}
Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}
Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar & eBook
Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/TraumaShapedNervousSystem

Register for the F R E E Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar on February 3. Choose from 10am eastern, 8pm eastern, or just watch the recording.

Register Here ---> RobynGobbel.com/webinar
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode originally aired in 2020. It's a very popular episode that deserved being updated because so many folks are still listening!
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Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most.  It's confusing.  It's triggering.  It's exhausting.

We can use our x-ray vision goggles to get underneath the lying so we can respond in ways that actually sets the boundary and increases the possibility of helping our children developing more socially and relationally appropriate behaviors.

Would you rather about Lying as a Trauma Driven Behavior? Check out my blog! https://robyngobbel.com/lying/
Additional Resources:
Lying as a Trauma Driven Behavior Infographic 
Free Resource Hub: RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub
Ep 222: Lying, Stealing, Regression and Baby Talk
Register for the F R E E Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar on February 3. Choose from 10am eastern, 8pm eastern, or just watch the recording.

Register Here ---> RobynGobbel.com/webinar
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, parenting stress, and nervous system overwhelm. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.
Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can stir up your own trauma in ways that feel surprising, intense, and deeply unsettling. In this episode, we slow everything down and make sense of why this kind of parenting can feel so much harder when you have your own trauma history.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why parenting a dysregulated child uniquely activates trauma for caregivers
How attachment, memory networks, and a narrowed window of tolerance collide in everyday parenting moments
Why understanding your nervous system is just as important as understanding your child’s

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
When Parenting is Traumatic Ep 95
Trauma, Memory, and Behavior Ep. 91 (implicit memory)
Free Resource Hub

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whenparentingtriggersyourtrauma

Register for the F R E E Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar on February 3. Choose from 10am eastern, 8pm eastern, or just watch the recording.

Register Here ---> RobynGobbel.com/webinar
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Content warning: This episode includes discussion of severe trauma, abuse (including sexual abuse), dissociation, and suicidal ideation. Please take care while listening and pause if needed.
In today’s episode, Robyn is joined by therapist, author, and adoptive parent Sally Maslansky to explore dissociative identity disorder through the lens of interpersonal neurobiology, attachment, and compassion. Together, they unpack how even the most confusing and baffling behaviors- ours and our children’s - can be understood as brilliant adaptations rooted in survival.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
Why dissociative identity disorder can be understood as a brilliant adaptation to overwhelming early trauma
How making sense of our own histories (especially implicit memory and attachment wounds) changes the way we parent and repair ruptures with our kids.
What it looks like, in real life, to heal through connection, compassion, and feeling truly felt- and how these experiences invite our attachment systems to move toward security
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
A Brilliant Adaptation by Sally Maslansky
Virtual event with Sally Maslansky hosted by GAINS on January 21
Sally Maslansky, LMFT with Daniel J. Siegel, MD- UCLA Friends of Semel Institute on March 11
Psychotherapy Networker Symposium- Live in Washington D.C. & Online March 19-21
Read the full transcript at: https://RobynGobbel.com/brilliantadaptations
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Register for the F R E E Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar on February 3. Choose from 10am eastern, 8pm eastern, or just watch the recording.

Register Here ---> RobynGobbel.com/webinar
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Should we be talking about felt safety when so much is genuinely unsafe?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this hard and honest question that so many parents are holding: when danger, injustice, and unmet needs are real and ongoing, does focusing on felt safety miss the point? Or can it actually be part of resistance, coherence, and long-term protection for our nervous systems?
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why focusing on felt safety is not the same as ignoring real danger, injustice, or systemic failure- and how both truths can coexist
How strengthening the nervous system can reduce long-term harm without minimizing how hard, unfair, or traumatic things are
Why regulation and moments of safety, connection, and coherence are not toxic positivity- but a necessary foundation for advocacy, boundaries, and resilience
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Creating Felt Safety LIVE webinar with Robyn on Thursday January 15th RobynGobbel.com/FeltSafetyWebinar
The Club! RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

Read the full transcript at: https://robyngobbel.com/nothingfeelssafe
Register for the F R E E Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar on February 3. Choose from 10am eastern, 8pm eastern, or just watch the recording.

Register Here ---> RobynGobbel.com/webinar
:::
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram
Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)