On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Jay sits down with Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks, author of Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves, to explore what makes great conversations actually work and where most of us get it wrong. Together, they unpack how to choose better topics, embrace the messiness of real dialogue, master the three stages of listening, and give compliments that genuinely connect. Alison also reveals why admitting uncertainty builds more trust than having all the answers, and shares practical conversation games you can start using right away.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

Learn to own the conversations that matter most in Alison Wood Brooks' new class on MasterClass: The Conversation Advantage With Alison Wood Brooks | MasterClass

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Introduction

01:51 Shifting Focus from Yourself In Conversation

05:31 Lowering Your Anxiety with Topic Prep

08:30 Is It Better to Be Interesting or Interested?

09:45 The Butterfly Net Metaphor

13:00 Low-Stakes Practice To Build High-Stakes Confidence

14:00 Debunking Traditional Rules of Persuasion

15:55 Building Conversational Safety Through Validation

17:06 Agenda-Free Relationships vs. Manipulative Networking

20:36 The Power of Follow-Up Questions

24:00 Embracing the Natural Messiness of Dialogue

26:11 Unrealistic Standards Set by Media and Podcasts

27:06 Alison's Top Three Small Talk Techniques

29:22 Balancing Leading vs. Following in Conversation

32:40 Does Your Mind Wander During Conversation?

33:40 The Power of Callbacks

34:00 The Attention Crisis and Screen Disruption

37:09 Strategies for Staying Present

39:00 Reciprocity and the Good-to-Great Question Shift

41:14 Intimate Openers and Stealth Topic-Switching

46:12 How to Respond to One Word Answers

47:35 Game 1: Spontaneous Depth and Sincerity

51:57 Game 2: Breaking Through Reserve

55:56 Talk Time Game: Battle of the Nice Guys

01:01:03 The Compliment Landmines to Avoid

01:04:00 This Is Damaging Your Potential Connections

01:09:48 The Best Way to Receive a Compliment

01:12:30 Talk Time Game: Admitting Uncertainty

01:21:30 Feel More Confident During Conversations

01:22:05 Dating Conversations and the First-Date Pause

01:26:20 Reviving a Dying Date Conversation

01:29:54 Deconstructing the "36 Questions to Fall in Love"

01:31:40 Defusing Heated Disagreements

01:32:22 Preparing for Difficult Conversations

01:34:00 When Distance Is Better Than Talking

01:37:45 Alison Wood Brooks on Final Five
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Jay breaks down the difference between healthy self-reflection and the kind of rumination that keeps you stuck in your own head. He shares four practical shifts to help you break the cycle, from redirecting your attention and resisting isolation to finding purpose through serving others and stepping into what Maslow called self-transcendence. Jay also shares a simple seven-day challenge to help you put it all into practice.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. https://WaldenU.edu

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What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

00:22 The Rumination Trap

04:00 Four Shifts to Break The Cycle

05:48 #1: The Power Of Attention

10:40 #2: Overcoming The Instinct To Isolate

16:20 #3: Finding Meaning By Being Useful

21:35 #4: Self-Transcendence

25:00 The Seven-Day Challenge

26:48 Healing and Growth as a Gift to Others

28:40 Expanding Your World
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In the very first episode of Ask Jay, a new series where listeners send in voice notes with their biggest questions, Jay explores what it really means to let go when your heart is still holding on. Through four deeply personal stories, he unpacks the difference between love and trauma bonds, the pull of breadcrumbing and relationship amnesia, the anxious-avoidant cycle, and what it takes to rebuild trust after betrayal. Along the way, Jay shares practical tools to help you choose yourself, rebuild self-trust, accept silence as an answer, and recognize when healing needs to come before making a decision about a relationship.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. https://WaldenU.edu

Access resources from the Domestic Violence support hotline here: https://www.thehotline.org/

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Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast

What We Discuss:

00:00 Introduction

01:23 Are You Holding On To A One-Sided Relationship?

03:40 The Law of Reciprocation

06:23 Breadcrumbing And Listening to Your Body

07:34 Trauma Bonds And Relationship Amnesia

09:16 Letting Go Of The “Good Girl” Persona

11:04 Is It Love or A Trauma Bond?

16:07 Why Toxic Relationships Feel So Hard to Leave

16:41 Rebuilding Self-Trust After Abuse

19:11 The Love As Action Test

20:12 Why Avoidant Partners Leave

21:52 What An Avoidant Partner May Be Thinking

23:32 Stop Trying To Read Their Mind

25:38 Redirecting Hope Back Toward Yourself

29:21 Can Trust Be Rebuilt After Betrayal?

31:00 What Was the Purpose Of The Break?

32:58 Should You Give Second Chances?

33:39 Healing Before Making A Relationship Decision

34:36 Building A “Second Marriage” With The Same Person
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Musician and artist Paris Jackson joins Jay for an extraordinarily raw, courageous, and deeply honest conversation on addiction, recovery, and the messy, non-linear journey of healing. Paris reflects on her unconventional childhood, the chronic loneliness that shadowed her early years, and the dark reality of substance abuse that nearly cost her her life and her voice. She opens up about the trauma of adolescent rehab centers, surviving severe mental health crises, and why true recovery requires moving beyond symptom-focused treatment to embrace holistic health, self-grace, and spiritual surrender. Together, Jay and Paris explore the power of inner child work, why pain can be alchemized into medicine, and how finding a conscious connection to something higher can help us feel truly safe in our own skin.

Healing is not linear, and growth is not a straight line, it’s a spiral. Every time you revisit a challenge, you are meeting it with more wisdom, more resources, and a deeper capacity for self-forgiveness. Trust that your darkest moments can become your most potent medicine, and that peace begins the moment you give yourself permission to feel it all.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. https://WaldenU.edu

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

1:31 The Meaning Behind 'Happiest Day of My Life'

5:07 Unconventional Childhood and Homeschooling Reflections

6:32 One of Paris’s Most Defining Childhood Memories

8:03 Buddhist Parables, Balance, and Letting Go of Judgment

10:52 Chronic Loneliness and The Roots of Addiction

12:20 Redefining Gateway Drugs and Escapism

14:15 The Severe Consequences of Substance Abuse

19:30 Rebuilding Trust and Finding Authentic Friendship

22:27 Suicide Attempts, Turning Points, and Choosing Sobriety

23:34 Adolescent Rehab Trauma

31:38 Developing a Relationship with a Higher Power

35:17 The Dance Between Spiritual Surrender and Intentional Action

36:37 Analyzing 'Stitched' and Soul Connections

40:22 Inner Child and Inner Teen Healing Work

43:07 The Spiral Nature of Healing and Growth

46:24 ECT Treatment, Western Medicine, and Holistic Health Shifts

54:42 Finding Regulation Through Physicality, Nature, and Animals

59:25 Temporality of Emotions and Embracing Life's Full Spectrum

01:03:17 Paris Jackson on Final Five
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Loneliness doesn’t come from being surrounded by too few people, it comes from believing you have to wait for connection to find you. In this episode, Jay shares five powerful mindset shifts to help you build meaningful friendships as an adult by overcoming the fear of rejection, letting go of imagined judgment, and embracing the courage to make the first move. Through practical insights and research-backed wisdom, you'll discover that lasting friendships aren't built through perfect chemistry, but through consistent presence, intentional effort, and the willingness to create the community you've been searching for.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

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On Purpose is now Netflix and Spotify exclusive

http://www.netflix.com/onpurposewithjayshetty

https://open.spotify.com/show/5EqqB52m2bsr4k1Ii7sStc?si=33f7898fb334437c

JAY’S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX

Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe

Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast

What We Discuss:

00:00:00 Introduction

00:02:33 5 Mindset Shifts to Make Friends

00:03:51 Why Making Friends Feels Harder Now

00:06:25 The Fear Keeping You Lonely

00:09:55 People Like You More Than You Think

00:14:35 Why Repetition Builds Real Friendships

00:21:01 Stop Waiting, Start Building Community
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