Pillow Talks

• EPISODE 207 The Foreplay Episode: The 5 Things We’re All Getting Wrong (re-air)

  Ready for our go-to masterclass on one of the most overlooked (but absolutely essential) parts of intimacy? We’re bringing back one of our most downloaded episodes of all time — and trust us, it’s worth a re-listen (or a first-time bender if you’re new around here). Foreplay — the most misunderstood, rushed-through, and skipped-over part of sex. But here’s the truth: foreplay isn’t optional. It’s not just a warm-up. It’s the whole damn vibe. In this episode, we’re breaking down the 5 biggest mistakes couples make when it comes to foreplay — and how to turn things around so it actually feels good (for both of you). Here’s what we’re diving into: Why “just get to the point” is killing the vibe What makes receiving foreplay so hard (especially for women — hi, it’s not your fault) The most common foreplay ruts we all fall into How to make foreplay fun again — not forced, awkward, or performative A mindset shift that will change how you think about sex forever Whether you’re feeling stuck, unsure what your partner wants, or just ready for a heck of a lot more pleasure… this episode is your permission slip. Links & Resources: 🔥 The Ultimate Foreplay Guides — get the Foreplay Bonus Package (worth over $250!) FREE when you grab one or both before May 14! ➡︎ https://buy.vmtherapy.com/ultimate-foreplay-guides-special?ref=podcast-207&utm_term=podcast-207 Stay Connected: 📸 Follow us on Instagram @vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns 👉🏻 Sign up here! 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Beam. Get up to 40% off for a limited time ➡︎ https://shopbeam.com/PILLOW 👏 Thanks Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life ➡︎ https://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks 👏Thanks Alloy. Get $20 off your first order today. ➡︎ https://myalloy.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• Episode 206: Butt Stuff 101: Everything You’re Too Afraid To Ask

  We’re bringing back a fan favorite this week… and yep, we’re going there. Butt stuff. 🍑 Back in 2021, we dropped an episode all about backdoor play, and it quickly became one of our most popular episodes of all time. With over 200 Pillow Talks episodes under our belts now, we figured it was time to make it a little easier to find the gems — so for the first time ever, we’re re-airing one of our top episodes. Whether you’re a little butt-curious or already a full-blown booty enthusiast, there’s something in this one for you. Because here’s the deal: 👉 72% of our Instagram fam said they were intimidated by anal play. 👉 But 67% also said they were curious about trying it. That means even if you’re nervous… you’re still open. And we love that. In this episode, we cover: Why butt stuff might be worth a try (even if you’re scared) The biggest myths and misconceptions (hint: it’s not just anal sex) How to keep things safe, hygienic, and pain-free Why more straight men are embracing the backdoor (and loving it) Your most vulnerable Qs — from hairy buttholes to hemorrhoids to the “what if vaginal sex doesn’t feel like enough after?” convo Oh — and if you’ve listened before? It’s still worth a re-listen. You might hear something new, have a totally different take four years later, or finally feel ready to give it a try. 😉 Last call for two spicy fan favorites 🔥 We just launched our brand-new membership, **Deeper** — which gives you instant access to all of our core courses, monthly double dates with us, VanessaAI, and more. With that, we’re officially retiring a few of our a la carte guides—including two of our best sellers: 👉 Butt Stuff 🍑 (only available inside of DEEPER) 👉 Dirty Talk 101  (only available inside of DEEPER) 🍑 What's so great about butt stuff? (Our FREE Guide) Stay Connected 💌 Get our best tips, stories, and sex & relationship advice: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🛋️ Come hang with us on Instagram 🎧 Subscribe & review — New episodes drop every Thursday! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review — it helps us keep creating content you love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• EPISODE 205: Couples Coaching Session: How To Ask For More Even If You Don’t Know What You Want

  We’re back this week with another coaching episode — where we listen to real voice notes from real listeners who are navigating some seriously relatable challenges.  From craving more pleasure but not knowing how to ask for it… to dealing with desire differences after kids and trying to orgasm for the first time (yes, ever) — we’re holding space for your stories. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:  “Is this it?” “Why don’t I want sex more?”  “How do I even bring this up with my partner?” You’re not alone — and this episode is for you. We’re walking through these submissions with curiosity, compassion, and practical tools to help these couples — and you — feel more connected, more confident, and more turned on by your sex life again.  💬 What we’re going deep on: - When your sex life is fine but also kind of meh - Why you might not know what you want and how to figure it out - How to handle performance anxiety (without hurting anyone’s feelings) - What to do if you’ve never had an orgasm (you’re not broken!) - When your partner wants sex every day and you’d rather do anything else - How to stop making sex feel like just another to-do 🔥 Resources mentioned in this episode: 💖 Deeper Membership - https://vmtherapy.com/deeper Our affordable, all-access monthly membership packed with expert-led courses, playful date night ideas, live coaching calls, and Vanessa AI — your on-demand sex therapist bestie. 💋 Ultimate Foreplay Guides - https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay  Whether you’re craving more excitement or just want a refresher on what actually feels good — these guides make foreplay easier, hotter, and way more fun for both of you. 🌸 Finishing School - https://vmtherapy.com/finishing-school?ref=podcast&utm_term=podcast Never had an orgasm? Not sure where to start? This course helps you overcome the emotional and physical blocks that might be getting in the way of pleasure. 💦 How to Have Your First Orgasm (Free Guide) - https://free.vmtherapy.com/best-orgasm A gentle, shame-free introduction to learning what feels good — and how to actually enjoy it. 🧠 Sex Drive Types Guide (Free) - https://free.vmtherapy.com/sex-drive-type  Are you responsive or spontaneous? This guide will help you understand your own desire type — and why it’s been causing friction in your relationship (spoiler: it’s not your fault). 🛠️ Performance Issues? We’ve got you. If you or your partner are struggling with performance anxiety or feeling pressure to “last longer,” check out these resources: - How to Talk to Your Male Partner About Performance Issues - https://vmtherapy.com/youtube-video/how-to-talk-to-your-male-partner-about-his-performance-issues/ - Ep. 149: Partner Performance Problems? Here's What To Do And What NOT To Do - https://vmtherapy.com/episode149 - Ep. 47: What Penis Performance Problems Really Mean - https://vmtherapy.com/episode47 - What to Do If You Have Performance Anxiety About Your Orgasm - https://vmtherapy.com/vanessa-marin-sex-therapy/what-to-do-if-you-have-performance-anxiety-about-your-orgasm/ 📲 Stay Connected 📩 Join our email list  — Be the first to know about exclusive offers, new products, and exciting updates: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 💬 Follow us on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander for behind-the-scenes fun, Q&As, and more tips on love and intimacy. 🎧 Subscribe & review — New episodes drop **every Thursday**! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review — it helps us keep creating content you love. ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks 👏Thanks Goodwipes. Goodwipes will elevate your everyday hygiene with premium wipes that deliver a superior clean that no dry toilet paper can match. 👏Thanks Remi. Give your teeth a break without breaking the bank with Remiand save up to 50%. ➡︎ https://shopremi.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• EPISODE 204: Confessions Of An Overactive Bladder

  If you’ve ever joked about “peeing just a little” when you sneeze, or you’re the kind of person who always has to know where the bathroom is, this one’s for you. Vanessa is sharing her personal (and super vulnerable) journey with bladder issues: how it started, the surprising symptoms, the anxiety it caused, and the expert-backed tools and tricks that actually helped. We asked our community if they’ve experienced bladder problems — and 62% of women said yes. So if you’re in that group, or just curious to hear a side of health and intimacy we’ve never talked about before, tune in. This episode might just be a game changer for you. Here’s a peek at what we cover: That awkward moment when you realize… something’s off The role of pelvic floor physical therapy (and who V followed to learn more) Bad habits no one tells you are actually bad The urologist visit from hell (you won’t believe what they said) How Vanessa trained her bladder like a dog (yes, really) Small changes that made a HUGE difference — and why Vanessa finally sleeps through the night Disclaimer: This episode is based on personal experience and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult with your doctor about your individual health needs. Links & resources in the episode: Expecting and Empowered The Vagina Whisperer 👉 Ready to level up your skills in (and out of) the bedroom? Grab The Ultimate Sex Guide for sex therapist-backed tips that’ll have you saying “oh my GOD… I didn’t know it could be this good?” — or get that AND everything we offer inside Deeper, our super affordable membership packed with steamy tools, date night ideas, live coaching, and more. Think of it as your all-access pass to better sex, connection that lasts, and WAY more fun together! Stay connected: 💌 Get our best tips and resources straight to your inbox: vmtherapy.com/subscribe 📸 Follow us on Instagram: @vanessaandxander 🎧 Never miss an episode — make sure to follow Pillow Talks wherever you listen to podcasts! Thanks to our sponsors: 👏 Thanks Blissy. Get better sleep, hair, and skin with Blissy. Get an additional 30% off ➡︎ https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD 👏 Thanks ZocDoc. Download the ZocDoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. ➡︎https://www.zocdoc.com/pillow 👏Thanks Alloy. Get $20 off your first order today. ➡︎ https://myalloy.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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• EPISODE 203: Is This Cheating? Part 2

  Is it cheating if you go to sex club… but just to watch? What about a flirty Snapchat streak with your ex? A prostate massage with no orgasm? 👀 This week, we’re back with Part 2 of one of our most talked-about episodes. We asked our community to share the moments, confessions, and curveballs that made them ask, “Wait…is this cheating?” And let’s just say… the gray areas are graying HARD. Here’s what we’re dishing on in this episode: Is emotional intimacy outside your relationship OK? When fantasies, DMs, or even Reddit lurking crosses the line. Are AI-generated nudes of your partner’s family the point of no return? Why intention and secrecy matter more than the act itself. The emotional toll “nothing happened” takes on a relationship. The difference between curiosity and disrespect when exploring sexually. No matter how you define cheating, one thing’s clear: these kinds of conversations are hard, and they don’t get easier without the right tools. Join the Deeper membership Want hotter sex, deeper convos, and fewer fights? For less than the cost of a date night, get on-demand access to our expert-led courses, live sessions with us, and interactive tools designed to fit into your busy life. Start your journey inside Deeper here. Links & Resources 🔥 The Art Of Initiation  🤖 Meet Vanessa AI (included with Deeper membership)  Stay Connected 📩 Join our email list — vmtherapy.com/subscribe 📲 Follow us on Instagram — @vanessaandxander for behind-the-scenes fun, Q&As, and more tips on love and intimacy. 🎧 Subscribe & Review — New episodes drop every Thursday! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review — it helps us keep creating content you love. ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Dipsea. Right now, listeners of this show can get a 30-day free trial ➡︎ https://dipseastories.com/pillow 👏Thanks Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life ➡︎ https://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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