Adulting with Autism

What happens when you're diagnosed with ADHD at 56—after a lifetime of dyslexia, chaos, big wins, big losses, and school trauma that taught you you'd never be "enough"?
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with John O'Shea, author of NeuroSpicy, about late diagnosis, anger and shame, the nervous system cost of being punished for learning differently, and how ADHD isn't a deficit of attention—it can be an overload of thoughts "like a V8 with no brakes."
John shares how the end of his 32-year marriage pushed him into rock bottom—and why writing became a lifeline. He also explains why ADHD and dyslexia can be both a superpower and kryptonite, and what it takes to build resilience without staying trapped in failure as a "comfort blanket."
In this episode, we cover:
What it feels like to get an ADHD diagnosis later in life (and why it mattered more to others than to John)
School trauma, humiliation, and why criticism can trigger rage in ADHD/dyslexic adults
Anger as armor: shame, rejection sensitivity, and emotional overflow
The "fast brain" experience: overload vs "attention deficit"
Why ADHD people can be scattered and intensely focused (hyperfocus)
The Hawaii customs story: literacy shame, humiliation, and consequences
Reframing neurodivergence: "we don't need fixing—we need understanding and tools"
What the education system should change (and John's plan for an ADHD/dyslexia empowerment course)
Imposter syndrome and "fake it till you make it" as a practical survival tool
Tools John uses to regulate: meditation, gym, sauna, grounding, and presence practices
Where to find the book and John's work
Connect with John O'Shea:
Website / book: https://neurospicy.life
Discount code: ABC25

Adulting can feel like chaos: bills, work pressure, relationships, identity, and the constant question—"What am I supposed to do with my life?"
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with Samantha Kane, founder of Roots Wings Wellness and a Certified Holistic Life Coach (Conscious Guide). Samantha helps people build self-mastery by connecting to their higher selves through grounded, practical rituals—nervous system regulation, boundaries, journaling, and alignment practices that actually work in real life.
Samantha shares why the first step for many young adults isn't a perfect plan—it's finding a mentor you trust. We also unpack what "alignment" really means, how to tell the difference between intuition vs anxiety, and what to do when you're stuck—whether you need movement, patience, or both.
In this episode, we cover:
The first step when you feel lost: finding a mentor (without needing money)
What "alignment" is and how to recognize it (jobs, friendships, relationships)
Intuition vs anxiety: practical questions to check your "gut"
Outgrowing friends, boundaries, and why you don't get to keep every relationship
Adult priorities: spending vs bills, and choosing consequences on purpose
Purpose pressure in your 20s: why you don't need the "perfect job" immediately
Avoiding work identity burnout: managing energy and keeping life separate from work
Finding your true self after years of labels: journaling as self-observation
Feeling stuck: stagnant energy vs "meantime" waiting (and how to tell the difference)
Tools to regulate: grounding/nature, box breathing 4–4–4–44–4–4–44–4–4–4, creative breath visuals
Connect with Samantha Kane:
Website: https://rootswingswellness.com (free guide + free call available)
Instagram: @rootswingswellness

If you live in fight-or-flight—anxiety, hypervigilance, chronic stress, shutdown, or even chronic pain—your body isn't being "dramatic." It's protecting you. But healing is hard when your nervous system can't access safety.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with Ethan Reisboard, CHT, a hypnotherapist who helps clients regulate their nervous systems and create lasting change using evidence-informed hypnotherapy tools.
Ethan shares his own recovery story: in 2021 he developed post-concussion syndrome with debilitating migraines and eye dysfunction. After trying numerous approaches with no results, hypnotherapy helped shift his body out of fight-or-flight so recovery could finally begin. Now he works with clients (mostly over Zoom) to build safety, reduce triggers, and develop skills that last beyond a single session.
In this episode, we cover:
What hypnotherapy is (and what it is not)
Why the hypnotic state supports the parasympathetic nervous system
How fight-or-flight can show up as anxiety and chronic pain
How you know you're "out" of fight-or-flight: when triggers become less relevant/reactive
"I can't be hypnotized" — stage hypnosis vs therapeutic hypnosis
How to find a qualified hypnotherapist (training, supervision, credentials)
Tools Ethan uses with clients: breathwork (including vagus nerve activation), somatic tracking, guided practices
Working with neurodivergent clients: visualization differences, trust, sensory concerns
Nature and travel as nervous system support—without using external "escape" as the only strategy
Consent, safety, and agency: why hypnosis can't make you do what you don't want
How hypnotherapy can complement OT/PT/clinical rehab when progress is stuck
Connect with Ethan Reisboard, CHT:
Website: https://ethanreishypnotherapy.com
Social: Ethan Reis Hypnotherapy
Free consultation scheduling and resources available on his website

Burnout doesn't always show up as a dramatic crash. Sometimes it's slow erosion: late nights, weak boundaries, snapping at people, losing hobbies, and waking up feeling like life is a chore.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with Loren Silverman, a former digital transformation leader turned coach and creator of Life Reboot: Nerd Edition—a 90-day coaching experience designed for nerds, geeks, tech professionals, and high performers who want clarity, better boundaries, and sustainable follow-through.
Loren shares how a pivotal experience in 2022—supporting Ukrainian refugees in Poland after the invasion—helped him realize what mattered most: moving people forward. We break down his gamified coaching framework (think D&D stats, quests, XP, rerolls, and boss battles) and why consistency—not perfection—is what creates real change.
In this episode, we cover:
Early warning signs of burnout in tech and high-demand careers
Why burnout is "insidious" and how boundaries erode over time
What "align your actions with your values" actually means (and how to find your values)
Beginner-friendly boundary script: "Let me think about that for a minute."
How to tolerate the guilt/discomfort of saying no and protecting your energy
Breaking overwhelming tasks into micro-steps (SMART stories / project management thinking)
All-or-nothing thinking and how to practice "good enough" without quitting
Tracking progress without turning it into another self-criticism tool (rerolls + XP)
Building support through "co-op challenges" and safe accountability
Connect with Loren Silverman:
Website / strategy call: https://silverman.coach
Ask about: Life Reboot: Nerd Edition community, weekly mastermind, and "Lantern Fall Thursdays"

Many adults grew up around domestic violence and minimized it because they "only witnessed it." But childhood domestic violence (CDV) isn't just witnessing—it's an experience that can shape the nervous system, self-concept, and lifelong beliefs about worth, guilt, fear, and safety.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we talk with Brian F. Martin, founder and CEO of the Childhood Domestic Violence Association (CDV.org) and bestselling author of Invincible: The 10 Lies You Learn Growing Up with Domestic Violence, and the Truths to Set You Free.
Brian explains why naming CDV matters, how children form survival-based beliefs before their brains are fully developed, and why many high-functioning adults still carry "unexplained" anxiety, shame, hypervigilance, and self-blame.
We also explore how CDV often overlaps with other adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)—including bullying, chronic invalidation, and neurodivergence in non-accommodating environments—and what the first steps toward healing can look like, especially for young adults still living at home.
In this episode, we cover:
What childhood domestic violence is (and why "witnessing DV" understates the impact)
How CDV affects the nervous system, fear responses, and long-term self-beliefs
The concept of the "10 lies" many survivors learn (guilt, worthlessness, being unlovable, hopelessness)
Why non-physical violence (threats, intimidation, constant verbal conflict) can be especially destabilizing
How CDV interacts with other trauma and adversity (ACEs), including autism-related invalidation
How to notice CDV beliefs when conflict or criticism triggers old survival wiring
Why community and one safe conversation can change the meaning of your story
Resources and a quick screening tool at CDV.org
Learn more:
Childhood Domestic Violence Association: https://cdv.org
Brian F. Martin's book: Invincible (summary and resources available at CDV.org)