Adulting with Autism

Today's episode is personal.
My son just turned 24, and I'm reflecting on what success really looks like—especially for autistic and neurodivergent young adults.
After a difficult first semester filled with housing issues, stress, and academic setbacks, he found his footing. And now? He's on track to make the Dean's List.
But this episode isn't about grades.
It's about redefining success.
If you're:
struggling with school or life direction
feeling behind compared to others
transitioning into adulthood
raising an autistic young adult
This episode is for you.
We talk about:
why success is NOT comparison
what progress actually looks like in real life
why young adulthood now extends into your 30s
the pressure to "have it all together" by 25
and why taking your time is not failure
Success is not a timeline.
Success is what YOU define it to be.
If my son can rebuild after a difficult semester, advocate for himself, and keep going—you can too.
Happy 24th birthday, Z. I couldn't be more proud.
🎙️ Keep fierce. Keep focused. Keep adulting with autism.

"Trauma-informed" gets misunderstood fast—people assume it means sharing personal stories, crying at work, or lowering standards.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, April talks with Jennifer, founder of The Expert Talk, a corporate training company that helps organizations build trauma-informed practices and cultures of belonging—the felt sense of belonging, not the kind that's just written on a wall.
This conversation is especially relevant for autistic/ADHD young adults entering the workforce who are trying to find (or create) environments that feel safe, predictable, and sustainable.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What "trauma-informed" actually means (and what it doesn't): it's not about telling your story at work
it's a lens: assume everyone has a story and lead with care, clarity, and respect

Why trauma isn't only "big events"—it's also nervous system responses to overwhelm, threat, and uncertainty
The core shift in mindset at work: from "What's wrong with this person?"
to "What might be happening for this person?"

What a regulated (safer) workplace tends to look like: predictability + transparency
clear communication
consistent follow-through
respect for boundaries
choice where possible
less masking to be accepted

"Trauma-organized" workplaces: how systems can trigger dysregulation even without "bad people"
Jennifer's hand model of the brain (a simple visual you can use anywhere): regulated state = access to executive functioning (communication, memory, decision-making)
dysregulated state = "flipped lid," operating from emotional survival responses

Why scripts and "best practices" fail when someone is dysregulated: you might agree to anything just to escape ("flight mode")
then forget what you agreed to because you couldn't process it in the moment

How autistic/ADHD strengths show up best when you feel safe: pattern recognition, deep focus, direct honesty
plus a practical concept: creating "islands of safety" within your sphere of influence

A message to leaders: being trauma-informed is not lowering standards it's having hard conversations with clarity
staying steady without making reactions personal
reducing power struggles that come from mutual dysregulation

Entrepreneurship + nervous system reality: why starting a business takes "audacity and delusion"
it takes longer, costs more, and requires learning you can't predict
the importance of mentors and entrepreneurial community to reduce shame and isolation

Self-care vs self-leadership: "bubble baths" = survival care (helps short-term)
real self-care = boundaries, energy management, and the "sacred pause" before reacting

How Jennifer catches old patterns (people-pleasing/overworking): frequent body/nervous system check-ins
noticing "my lid is flapping in the breeze"
taking 15–20 minutes to reset and communicating needs clearly

Reframing "too sensitive": sensitivity as data, not a defect
building safety through micro-boundaries (small, doable boundaries that retrain your nervous system)

Resources + where to find Jennifer:
Website: theexperttalk.com (two E's, two T's)
Free guides (including nervous system work at work)
"Language to Leave Behind" resource (phrases that don't land / don't build connection)
Blog + online courses (regulation, boundaries, conflict navigation, feedback)

"You can be your authentic self at work."
A lot of autistic young adults were told that—and then hit the real world: code-switching, tone policing, vague bias, and pressure to mask just to keep a paycheck.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, April talks with Nadine Jones—attorney, former head of legal for a multi‑billion‑dollar corporation, consultant, and mom of a child on the spectrum—about what corporate America actually looks like for neurodivergent employees… and how to protect yourself while still building a life.
This is a practical, no-fluff conversation about safety, strategy, and what to do when inclusion exists on paper but not in practice.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why Nadine believes corporate America isn't ready for the wave of neurodivergent talent (but will have to adapt)
The real question of "code-switching": should employees adapt—or should companies learn to accommodate?
How direct autistic communication gets misread as rude or insubordinate, and what leaders can do to distinguish style vs "poor fit" vs bias
Disclosure realities: why some people don't disclose (and what that means: being held to neurotypical standards)
how disclosure can create legal protection under the ADA once you're employed
why disclosure during applications can feel like a catch‑22

What "accommodations" can look like in real life: breaks, lighting, processing time, communication clarity, tools/tech supports
A story-based look at "quirky" coworkers (knitting to self-regulate, jumping into conversations) and how teams can learn to accommodate instead of judging
The family/community education gap (including cultural dynamics) and why "little" supports (yes, even dino nuggets) can prevent major meltdowns and increase belonging
How to spot workplace microaggressions: harsher tone toward you vs others
exclusion from meetings
only negative feedback / no praise
different standards depending on "who submits the work"

How to document discrimination so you have options: write it down immediately (contemporaneous notes carry more weight)
track dates, times, quotes, witnesses, patterns
why "but did you document it?" is the legal department's first question

A hard truth about HR: HR protects the organization, not you—how to think about HR strategically
What companies often get wrong about DEI: why DEI survives when it's tied to business outcomes and the bottom line
what happens when it's treated as a "checkbox" or only as social good

Practical guidance for the "paycheck vs safety" dilemma: how to quietly job search
how to reset your nervous system on weekends
when to choose peace over the paycheck
severance/COBRA considerations and creating a buffer when you can

Connect with Nadine:
LinkedIn: Nadine Jones / General Counsel Support Services
Email: [email protected] (no "s" on service)
IG/TikTok: GC Support Insights (handle may appear as @gcsupportinsights)
Facebook: General Counsel Support Services
If you're entering the workforce and you want both dignity and stability, this episode gives you language, legal reality, and next steps.

Mindfulness isn't "clear your mind," sit perfectly still, and magically become calm.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, April talks with Dr. Holly Rogers—psychiatrist and long-time leader in college student mental health—about what mindfulness actually is, why Gen Z is experiencing such high anxiety, and how neurodivergent young adults can use mindfulness to prevent overwhelm without turning it into another performance task.
Dr. Rogers developed a mindfulness curriculum for college students that's now taught at 300+ colleges worldwide, and she breaks it down in a way that makes sense for real life: busy brains, sensory differences, burnout cycles, and "I tried it and it didn't work."
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why young adulthood is uniquely stressful: uncertainty, constant transitions, and major life decisions
How technology can leave us over-connected online and under-connected in real life (and what that does to the nervous system)
What mindfulness is: present-moment awareness with friendly curiosity (not self-judgment)
What mindfulness is not: stopping thoughts, forcing stillness, or "doing it perfectly"
Why apps alone rarely create a lasting practice for beginners—and why community + a live teacher improves follow-through
The "minimum effective dose": research suggests 10 minutes/day can make a meaningful difference
What mindfulness helps with: sleep, anxiety, emotion regulation, resilience, and creating a pause between feeling and reacting
Alternative entry points for neurodivergent people: anchors using sound, sight, or breath
movement-based options
what to do if interoceptive awareness (body sensing) is hard

A burnout-friendly model: comfort zone → stretch zone → overwhelm how mindfulness helps you notice when you're approaching overwhelm early enough to reset

Purpose without pressure: avoiding "purpose paralysis" and living with purpose through integrity, kindness, attention, and connection
Reframing non-linear timelines: "it takes as long as it takes," and self-criticism makes everything harder
For anyone who thinks they "failed" at mindfulness: you didn't fail—your first method just didn't fit yet
Resources mentioned:
Website + free guided meditations + programs: MIEA.com
Free online meditation community: Dr. Rogers' Wednesday Meditation Circle (1st & 3rd Wednesdays)
Books: The Mindful 20-Something (2nd edition coming soon) and Mindfulness for the Next Generation
If your nervous system is fried from school, work, social navigation, or autistic burnout—and "mindfulness" sounds like a scam—this episode gives you a realistic starting point.

Ever go from "fine" to flooded in seconds—tight chest, racing thoughts, defensive tone—and then say things you regret?
That's not a character flaw. It's a brain hijack.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, April talks with Diane McDowell, relationship coach (therapist-trained) and creator of the Brain to Heart Code, about what happens when your survival brain decides your partner is "dangerous"—and how to interrupt the hijack before it blows up your relationship.
This one is especially relevant for autistic and neurodivergent adults who live in the "preemptive flinch," scan constantly for threat, and mask as calm on the outside while shutting down internally.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What a brain hijack is (and why a slow text reply or a sigh can feel like a tiger chasing you)
Diane's 3-part model: End the hijack
Create safety that lasts
Return to you (honesty, self-trust, speaking your truth)

Why communication skills and "mindset work" fail when you're dysregulated: your prefrontal cortex goes offline
The most common hijack signals: chest pressure, changed breathing, clenched jaw/shoulders, racing thoughts, believing your story is 100% true
The "blue hair" rule: why defensiveness often shows up when you fear there's a smidge of truth (and how to use that as information)
How to shift from reacting to curiosity (self-curious + other-curious), including Diane's "sentence stems" to keep your tone grounded
How to work with bracing (and why focusing on "what do I need?" helps more than looping on "why am I like this?")
A micro-practice for rewiring: rehearse skills 5x/day (wake up, meals, bedtime) so you can access them when activated
What self-leadership means in conflict: stop spending your "brain juice" trying to control someone else—lead your nervous system instead
Why "self-sabotage" is often your body overprotecting (like an overzealous guard dog)—and how to soothe it without shame
How to speak your truth without demanding an apology, plus Diane's reframe on when apologies matter
Partner support without becoming a therapist: code words, noticing cues, time-outs, and not "shooting" each other mid-hijack
Boundaries that actually work: self-action boundaries ("If you yell, I will leave the room/house/end the call")
A core reframe for shame: you are 100% lovable, valuable, and worthy—and relationships improve when you stop performing to prove it
Free resources + quiz + mini-class: EmotionalSafetyCo.com (Free Resources tab)
If you've ever thought "I'm too reactive to be loved," this episode is your reminder: you're not broken—you're hijacked. And you can learn to come back to yourself.