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The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
The Imperfects
Neueste Episode

294 Episoden

  • The Imperfects

    Briggs - What Racism Feels Like (feat. Nazeem Hussain)

    02.08.2026 | 1 Std. 20 Min.
    What is racism, really?
    💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    Adam Briggs, rapper, writer, actor, senator and Yorta-Yorta man, joins Hugh, Josh and guest host Nazeem Hussain, to have an honest conversation about racism in Australia.
    We explore the impact of The Voice Referendum vote, how culture and community impacts identity, and why Briggs has never, ever felt the need to people please (yep, that’s the sound of us frantically scribbling down notes).
    Briggs also chats about the highs and lows of bipolar II.

    0:00 – No boundaries Briggs
    5:26 –Big Shep’ Washing Machine
    12:25 – This is racism
    21:27 – A hyper-vigilante
    28:06 – Perfect storm for art
    36:09 – Copping it Australia Wide
    43:22 – The Yes Vote
    53:08 – Australian Culture
    57:02 – Never just about music
    1:04:50 – Make Aboriginal Cool
    1:09:19 – Bipolar, therapy, training
    🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
    Ben Shewry (Pt 1) - The Other Side of Excellence - https://bit.ly/4fErGpQ
    Ben Shewry (Pt 2) - How The Chef Was Made - https://bit.ly/45sPsR7
    Ben Shewry - Making It Right (And Delicious) - https://bit.ly/4gXyDEZ
    Nazeem Hussain - Losing a Parent - https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-imperfects/id1476501557?i=1000589981824
    🎧Things to listen to
    Big Noter - https://www.thebignoter.com
    The Children Came Back by Briggs & Gurrumul - https://bit.ly/4fGaxMH
    📺Things to watch
    Briggs’s Voice Referendum ad - https://bit.ly/4bkiTs2
    📚Things to read
    Our Home, Our Heartbeat by Adam Briggs - https://bit.ly/4yQKbjW
    💻Things to check out
    Rumbalara Football Netball Club - https://www.rfnc.com.au/
    Bad Apples Music - https://bit.ly/4x8Rdi3
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcast http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Sex for Normal People with Ita O'Brien

    26.07.2026 | 1 Std. 1 Min.
    Sex is sometimes a taboo topic. Not today! Intimacy expert Ita O’Brien tells us all about the new normal in the bedroom, and how she’s introduced it to Hollywood.
    💌Join 9,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    In 2017, Ita O’Brien changed how Hollywood approached sex scenes when she pioneered intimacy co-ordination on the hit Netflix show, Sex Education, by introducing the framework, “Intimacy On Set Guidelines”. She went on to on productions for Netflix, BBC, HBO, Hulu, Amazon, including Sex Education and Normal People, founding her own company Intimacy on Set.
    And now she’s here.
    Ita chats with the guys about what sex scenes were like before Intimacy Co-ordination, and all the lies movies taught us about sex. She explains the mysterious orgasm gap, why consent is the foundation of all intimacy, and maybe most importantly of all… the male and female anatomy of arousal! That bit’s at the 16min mark if you’re really in a hurry. 😉

    00:00 – Meet Ita O'Brien, the World's First Intimacy Coordinator
    01:32 – Inside Her Work on Normal People, I May Destroy You & Sex Education
    04:17 – What Intimacy Actually Means (It's Not Just Sex)
    07:34 – The Untold Story of the First-Ever Intimacy Coordinator Job
    09:35 – What Sex Scenes Were Like Before Consent Guidelines Existed
    12:27 – Why On-Screen Intimacy Shapes How We See Ourselves
    14:33 – The Hidden Lie Movies Taught Us About Sex
    16:00 – The Male Anatomy of Arousal, Explained
    18:33 – The Female Anatomy of Arousal, Explained
    23:17 – Why Desire Fades in Long-Term Relationships
    25:59 – The Power of Touch (and Why We're Losing It)
    30:39 – How Screens Are Rewiring Kids' Ability to Connect
    34:08 – The Truth About the Orgasm Gap
    40:30 – Why Consent Is the Foundation of All Intimacy
    43:10 – Filming the Iconic Birth Scene in We Live in Time
    49:52 – How to Talk to Kids About Consent and Bodies
    52:24 – "Consent Is Sexy": A Call to Writers and Filmmakers
    54:33 – Sex, Menopause and Intimacy at Every Life Stage
    📖Things to read
    Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires by Ita O’Brien - https://www.penguin.com.au/books/intimacy-9781529954043
    📺 Things to watch
    Sex Education (Netflix) - https://www.netflix.com/title/80197526
    Normal People (BBC/Hulu) - https://www.hulu.com/series/normal-people
    I May Destroy You (BBC/HBO) - https://www.hbo.com/i-may-destroy-you
    Catastrophe - https://www.amazon.com/Catastrophe-Season-1/dp/B00YGB8UYK
    We Live in Time (Film4/A24) - https://www.a24films.com/films/we-live-in-time
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
    Esther Perel — Let's Be Better Lovers - https://open.spotify.com/episode/1BantQso5Ef3xPn4PWNG2I
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcast http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Our Phone Odyssey Begins

    19.07.2026 | 1 Std. 12 Min.
    Could you live without your phone for a month?
    🩵To hear more episodes like this, join A Little More Imperfects!
    Patreon - www.patreon.com/theimperfects
    Apple - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    This week it's just the three of us. And like Odysseus before us, we embark on a life changing epic.
    Where he fought the trojans, monsters, cannibals, sirens, the oceans, a cyclops and ACTUAL GODS!!
    We will do something even ‘EPIC…ER’.
    We’re tackling our phones.
    Each of us take on a month-long challenge to fix our worst phone habits, inspired by the ‘god of no phones’ - Christopher Nolan and the release of THE ODYSSEY (if that wasn’t obvious already, but we promise this episode isn't an ad).
    We then share some of our favourite bits from behind the pay wall, from our Patreon/Subscriber community. Ryan has an unplanned, very generous on-air hair donation; Josh shares a bit from a book which changed his life a bit; which leads to one of the most honest conversations he and Hugh have ever had on (or off) the show, about comparison, self-esteem, and growing up idolising your older brother.
    This is one epic journey.
    00:00 — The Phone Odyssey Begins
    08:54 — Our Phone-Free Pledges
    19:11 — Modelling Better Habits at Home
    25:29 — Hairing is Caring
    37:57 — A Bit From a Book That Changed Josh’s Life a Bit
    48:18 — The Conversation Between Brothers That Needed to Be Had
    🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
    Bronte Campbell - Comparison, The thief of joy ****https://bit.ly/49S1S7C
    Joe Brumm & Hamish Blake - A Bluey Print for Dads https://bit.ly/4w4ohI8
    How (and why) Ryan Dumped his iPhone https://bit.ly/3T3xdyM
    Sam Willoughby - The tragic injury that changed his life (and Ryan’s Finnastride admission) https://bit.ly/4fa5u8p
    📖 Things to read
    The midnight library - Matt Haigh https://bit.ly/4vGgnE0
    How Proust can change your life - Alain de Botton https://bit.ly/4dYfCkd
    In search of lost time - Marcel Proust https://bit.ly/4vt3lJG
    📺Things to watch
    The Odyssey https://bit.ly/4vY8nij
    Christopher Nolan on 60minutes https://bit.ly/4yjfZgX
    💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/sign-up-to-our-newsletter/
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Dr Emily - You, Me & Jealousy

    12.07.2026 | 1 Std. 5 Min.
    To be jealous is to be human. It is what you do with that feeling that counts.
    💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    Our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove is in the studio to talk about THAT podcast moment: the one where Ryan admitted he was jealous of Hugh and Hamish Blake’s relationship. The one that lives in Imperfects history.
    According to Dr Em, we develop the emotion of jealousy at just 9 months old, and it shows up everywhere; family, work, school, friends.
    Feelings around jealousy can be extremely painful, especially if it is accompanied by shame.
    In this episode, Dr Emily explores why jealousy can be so dangerous when not listened to, and why our jealous behaviour can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    See you on the other side.
    If you want to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/dlufNQ7iXCc
    00:00 - The Day Has Arrived
    02:48 - When Ryan Revealed He Was Jealous of Hugh & Hamish
    7:45 - Shame Tells You Not To Speak It
    10:02 - Harry Styles Walks Into a Super Market
    15:54 - You’re Making My Dog Jealous
    22:31 - Feeling Jealous vs Being Jealous
    43:49 - Hugh, Ryan & Hamish: 4 Years Later
    47:50 - How To Have The Conversation (And Build Trust)
    59:32 - You Can Feel Jealous AND Still Trust

    🫖 Episodes mentioned in this episode
    Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self Doubt - https://bit.ly/3QG8MXo
    💻Things to check out
    Uncertainty vs inevitable pain study - https://bit.ly/43NWFKQ
    🎵Songs to listen to
    Jealous Guy by John Lennon - https://bit.ly/43NWzCY
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Joe Brumm & Hamish Blake - A Bluey-print For Dads

    05.07.2026 | 1 Std. 30 Min.
    Want can you learn from playing with a child?
    In today's Academy of Imperfection, Bluey creator Joe Brumm joins us (for real life), with Hamish Blake stepping in as guest host.
    💌Join 8,300+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    In this episode we dig into the world of play - ”the voluntary overcoming of unnecessary obstacles”, we find out what makes a ‘good’ player and why kids' imaginative play tends to fade around age 12.
    Josh and Hugh take the chance to wax lyrical about their favourite Bluey episodes, Rain, Fruit Bat, Born Yesterday, The Decider (to name a few). And all three dads also share some moments of parenting shame as we discuss the constant battle for attention between our phones, and our kids.
    00:00 - Hamish Blake from Rove
    08:13 - Bluey, The Most Streamed TV Show of All Time
    11:51 - The Best Definition of Play You've Ever Heard
    21:00 - It’s All Improvising
    38:02 - Permission to Pretend Again
    51:20 - My Kids Wouldn’t Have The Dad They Have Without Bluey
    54:00 - Doing Something Just for Fun Is a Valid Reason
    58:07 - Being Present In a World of Distractions
    01:22:00 - The Bluey Episode That Made a Room Full of Footballers Cry
    01:27:16 - Let Them Lead and See What Happens
    If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/eMigxjhCkcs
    🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
    How (and why) Ryan dumped his iphone https://bit.ly/4vi83uA
    📺 Things to watch
    Bluey - Shadowlands https://bit.ly/4eTzKTA
    Bluey - Calypso https://bit.ly/3QT6NyT
    Bluey - Magic Xylophone https://bit.ly/4gdY057
    Bluey - Born Yesterday https://bit.ly/3SvY5HA
    Bluey - Bin Night https://bit.ly/4gd89Pt
    Bluey - The decider https://bit.ly/4eHS1V4
    Bluey - Faceytalk https://bit.ly/4wpWWju
    Bluey - Pass the parcel https://bit.ly/4gi9PXU
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcast http://apple.co/theimperfects

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Weitere Bildung Podcasts
Über The Imperfects
We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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