The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF

• How Do We Practice in Chaotic Times? - Daigan Gaither

  Even when we see uncertainty and injustice all around us, can we navigate our life with grace and resilience?Daigan Gaither emphasizes that our suffering and confusion are not barriers to practice but the very ground of it.He reflects on how to stay grounded and compassionate during turbulent and overwhelming times, drawing from his personal experiences and Buddhist teachings. He reminds us that practice doesn't mean escaping chaos—it means being present with it. By noticing our feelings, turning toward discomfort, and showing up honestly, we can respond with more wisdom and care. Daigan encourages us to drop perfectionism and meet ourselves with kindness, because showing up—even imperfectly—is the practice.He offers practical and heartfelt suggestions for practicing in challenging times:Pause and breathe – Come back to your body and breath, especially when overwhelmed.Name what’s happening – Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings without judgment.Stay connected – Practice in community and reach out to others for support.Lean into the precepts – Use Buddhist ethical guidelines as a compass, not a rulebook.Embrace imperfection – The world is messy, and so are we; we can still show up with love.Ultimately, Daigan's message is one of hope: he invites us to meet chaos not with avoidance or despair, but with curiosity, compassion, and presence. ______________Rev. Daigan Gaither (he/him) began Buddhist practice in 1995 in the Vipassana (Insight) tradition, then began studying Zen in 2003. He received Lay Ordination in 2006 where he was given the name Daigan or “Great Vow,” and received Priest Ordination in July 2011. Daigan speaks internationally on a variety of topics particularly around gender, sexuality, social justice, and their intersections with the Dharma. He also sits or has sat on a number of boards and committees that serve community needs and further social justice causes. Daigan has a BA in Philosophy and Religion from San Francisco State University, and an MA in Buddhist Studies (with a chaplaincy certificate and a certificate in Soto Zen Buddhism) from the Graduate Theological Union and the Institute of Buddhist Studies. He lives in San Francisco, CA and identifies as a disabled, queer, white, cis male. Learn more at https://queerdharma.net ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• Practicing with Suffering - JD Doyle

  Rather than constantly trying to escape discomfort, can we engage with suffering as a gateway to insight and connection?In this talk, JD Doyle helps us turn directly toward the ever-present reality of suffering in our lives. Drawing from Joy Harjo’s poetry and personal anecdotes, JD invites us to reflect on how we orient ourselves in a world that often feels destabilizing. They compare the cycle of samsara to bumper cars at an amusement park, where we continually crash into each other through our reactive habits. JD explains that instead of merely surviving these crashes, we can choose to investigate them with compassion and wisdom.JD skillfully unpacks the Buddhist concept of dukkha—commonly translated as suffering—by outlining its three types:Dukkha-dukkha – Direct physical or emotional pain (e.g., illness, heartbreak, mental anguish).Viparinama-dukkha – Suffering from impermanence (e.g., things changing against our will).Sankhara-dukkha – The suffering embedded in conditioned existence, shaped by past actions and systems (like societal structures or inherited trauma).They emphasize that wise reflection helps us meet these forms of suffering not with blame or avoidance, but with inquiry and compassion. JD also highlights the importance of community—how even crises, like a scary moment on a flight, can bring strangers together as a spontaneous sangha. Ultimately, they call us to meet suffering not with fear but with courage—a word rooted in the heart—and to help others find their way through the dark.______________JD Doyle serves as a core teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center (EBMC) and has served as a board member and was the cofounder of the LGBTQI meditation group. JD is a graduate of the Spirit Rock Meditation Center teacher-training program and was in the Dedicated Practitioner Program (DPP2) and the Community Dharma Leader Program (CDL4). JD has practiced Buddhism since 1995 in the U.S., Thailand, and Burma.For over twenty-five years, they worked as a public school teacher focusing on issues of equity and access. JD holds a bachelor’s degree in Environmental Studies from Cornell University and a master’s degree in Language and Literacy and Sociocultural Studies from the University of New Mexico. JD identifies as gender non-conforming. They are committed to celebrating the diversity of our human sangha, addressing the impact of racism on our communities, expanding concepts of gender, and living in ways that honor the sacredness of the Earth. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• Working with Our Shame - René Rivera

  How large of a force is shame in shaping the behaviors we see in society and ourselves? In this talk, René Rivera gently but powerfully guides us through the terrain of shame, drawing from personal experience, restorative justice work, and Buddhist teachings. He names shame as one of the five primary human emotions and explores how it subtly drives fear, anger, and avoidance.René relates how shame shows up intensely in work with people who’ve experienced or caused sexual harm and how facing it consciously can lead to healing and growth. He also ties shame to cultural patterns of oppression, suggesting that unexamined shame fuels collective harm, such as the political targeting of marginalized communities.To help us recognize and transform our own shame, René shares several tools and frameworks:Shame vs. Guilt: Shame is “I am bad,” while guilt is “I did something bad”—guilt can motivate action, while shame tends to immobilize.Compass of Shame (Nathanson):Attack Self: Internal harshness or over-apologizing.Attack Other: Blaming or lashing out.Withdrawal: Avoiding situations that might evoke shame.Avoidance: Distraction or pretending nothing happened.Body Awareness: Shame often shows up in physical sensations like sinking or heat; returning to the body anchors awareness.Reflective Questions (inspired by Byron Katie):Is it true?Can you absolutely know it’s true?How do you react when you believe it?Who would you be without it?Is this mine?“Shame Report” Practice: Sharing shame stories with trusted others to dissolve secrecy and regain perspective.René encourages us to remember that our shame responses often began as survival strategies. Bringing compassion, curiosity, and community to our experiences allows us to shift from painful self-concepts toward healing and freedom.______________René Rivera is a meditation teacher, restorative justice facilitator, and leader, working and learning in all the spaces in-between race, gender, and other perceived binaries, as a queer, mixed-race, trans man.René teaches heart-centered, trauma-informed meditation, at the East Bay Meditation Center and other meditation centers. He has co-led the first residential meditation retreats for transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive people. René is a restorative justice facilitator for the Ahimsa Collective, working to heal sexual and gender-based violence. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• Dealing with Subtle Forms of Suffering - Vimalasara

  How can we bring mindful awareness to our patterns of subtle dissatisfaction that are also a form of Dukkha? Here, Vimalasara delves into the Buddhist concept of dukkha (suffering), exploring how our habitual reactions to both pleasant and unpleasant experiences can entangle us in cycles of suffering. She emphasizes that dukkha isn't just about overt pain but also includes our resistance to life's impermanence and unpredictability. Vimalasara suggests we can begin to untangle them, fostering a deeper sense of ease and presence in our lives.​Vimalasara outlines practical approaches to work with dukkha:​Mindful Observation: Recognize and observe our reactions to experiences without judgment, allowing us to see the underlying patterns of clinging and aversion.​Embodied Awareness: Engage in practices that connect us to bodily sensations, grounding us in the present moment and helping to dissolve the grip of suffering.​Compassionate Inquiry: Approach our experiences with kindness and curiosity, creating space for healing and transformation.​Through these methods, she encourages a compassionate and embodied path to understanding and alleviating dukkha, leading to greater freedom and well-being.​______________Dr. Vimalasara (Valerie) Mason-John MA (hon. doc) is a senior teacher in the Triratna Buddhist Community. She is the award-winning author of 9 books, including her most recently published in 2020 "I'm Still Your Negro: An Homage to James Baldwin," and is currently editing an anthology "Afrikan Wisdom: Black Liberation, Buddhism, and Beyond" published in 2021. She is also the author of "Detox Your Heart - Meditations for Emotional Trauma," and the award-winning book, "Eight-Step Recovery Using the Buddha's Teachings to Overcome Addiction," with 8-Step meetings in several continents. Named as one of the leading African-descent voices in the field of mindfulness approaches for addiction, she has co-founded the accredited program Mindfulness-Based Addiction Recovery MBAR. She works as a dharma teacher, public speaker, professional trainer, and mindfulness teacher. Learn more at https://www.valeriemason-john.com/  ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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• Working with Dukkha - Sean Feit Oakes

  In his talk on dukkha (suffering), Sean Feit Oakes delves into the heart of Buddhist teachings, exploring how our habitual reactions to both pleasant and unpleasant experiences can entangle us in cycles of suffering. He emphasizes that dukkha isn't just about overt pain but also includes the subtle dissatisfaction that arises from our resistance to life's impermanence and unpredictability. By bringing mindful awareness to these patterns, Sean suggests we can begin to untangle them, fostering a deeper sense of ease and presence in our lives.​Sean outlines practical approaches to work with dukkha:​Mindful Observation: Recognize and observe our reactions to experiences without judgment, allowing us to see the underlying patterns of clinging and aversion.​Embodied Awareness: Engage in practices that connect us to bodily sensations, grounding us in the present moment and helping to dissolve the grip of suffering.​Compassionate Inquiry: Approach our experiences with kindness and curiosity, creating space for healing and transformation.​Through these methods, Sean encourages a compassionate and embodied path to understanding and alleviating dukkha, leading to greater freedom and well-being.______________Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996 CREDITSAudio Engineer: George HubbardProducer: Tom BrueinMusic/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

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