DEEP&DIRTY with Lisa Opel

#80 (DE): Einer will, der andere nicht.
„Einer will mehr, der andere weniger“ klingt nach einem altbekannten Beziehungsproblem. Nach Zahlen, nach Frequenz, nach Kompromissen. Nach etwas, das man irgendwie lösen müsste. Und genau deshalb greift diese Erzählung oft zu kurz.
Denn was mir immer wieder begegnet – in Gesprächen, in Zuschriften, in Beziehungen – ist weniger ein echtes Lustproblem als ein Kontaktproblem. Oder genauer: ein Qualitätsproblem.
Wir sprechen viel über Libido. Über wie oft, wie selten, wie lange schon nicht mehr. Kaum jemand spricht über das, was dazwischen liegt. Über Stimmung, Müdigkeit, Druck. Über den Kopf, der lauter ist als der Körper. Über Erwartungen, Automatismen und dieses diffuse Gefühl, dass mit einem Ja sofort „das volle Menü“ verbunden ist.
In meiner neuen Podcastfolge geht es genau darum. Nicht um schnelle Lösungen oder einfache Antworten. Sondern um die leisen Momente vor dem Sex. Um das Nein, das manchmal gar kein Nein zu Nähe ist, sondern ein Nein zu dem, was unausgesprochen mitschwingt. Und um die Frage, was passiert, wenn Grenzen nicht als Abbruch verstanden werden, sondern als Übergang.
Ich spreche darüber, warum viele Menschen irgendwann einfach Ja sagen, um den Druck loszuwerden – und warum dieses „Es war okay“ oft ein Hinweis ist, dass der Körper zwar dabei war, aber das innere Ja gefehlt hat. Es geht um Lusttypen, um Sex Amnesia, um das Vergessen, wie Lust sich eigentlich anfühlt, wenn sie nicht eingefordert wird.
Und ja, es geht auch um Sprache. Um das Lautwerden dessen, was noch unsortiert ist. Um ehrliche Sätze, die kein Versprechen sind, sondern ein Bleiben im Gespräch. Manchmal ist genau das der Moment, in dem Lust wieder auftaucht. Nicht geplant. Nicht eingefordert. Sondern als Reaktion auf Ehrlichkeit.
Diese Folge ist kein Ratgeber. Sie ist ein Denkraum. Ein Impuls. Vielleicht ist ein Satz dabei, der hängen bleibt. Vielleicht ein Bild, das etwas verschiebt. Und vielleicht ist das schon genug.
Wenn Du mit mir darüber reden magst: www.mrs-opel.com
Prefer the transcript? Find it here.
I'm your host, Lisa Opel and I'm here to take you on a liberating ride through the world of sex shops, clubs, toys, play and more!
Feel free to send me your questions and wishes anytime on Instagram or under [email protected]
More of me on Instagram (@pleasepinchmehard) and my webpage (www.pleasepinchmehard.com)
My book SEX SEX SEX - Your Workbook for Singles & Couples
My book GIVE IT TO ME! on Amazon (E-Book & Print) and Spotify as an Audiobook
My book SAVED IN NOTES... and never sent: horny, grieving and more poems.
Need a one-on-one session with a Confidante? I've got you: www.mrs-opel.com


Get full access to Mrs Lisa O | pleasepinchmehard at lisaopel.substack.com/subscribe

#79 (ENG): Alien play in the bedroom. How to get weird, wild & wonderfully curious.
✨ Read the complete article - including a downloadable PDF packed with language examples, scene ideas, toys, and playful prompts - on my webpage.
So, here’s a fun truth about humans: give us a strange-looking toy, a slightly odd texture, or a fantasy that lets us step out of our everyday bodies, and suddenly we’re all willing to explore the unknown like Mulder sprinting after a suspicious glow in the woods.
Alien play isn’t about green body paint (unless you’re into that), nor do you need encyclopaedic knowledge of nebulae. It’s about curiosity. It’s about letting yourself touch, speak, and play differently. It’s about lifting the pressure to “perform” and instead asking, What would happen if we approached each other like we’ve never met a human before?
It can be soft and exploratory, silly and giggly, or full of consensual power dynamics: “You will remain still for examination, human.” It can be a single line whispered during sex or a full scene with sensory scanning, strange toys, and non-verbal communication. Tentacle fantasies? Absolutely valid. Scientists examining mysterious specimens? Love it. Aliens with unusual biological quirks? Delicious.
For many people, alien play is also a wonderfully inclusive way to experience desire. Aliens don’t come with preconceived ideas about bodies. They don’t expect genitals to look or behave a certain way. They don’t judge. They explore. And that makes the fantasy incredibly liberating for trans lovers, disabled partners, neurodivergent bodies, shy folks... Honestly? Anyone who wants to feel desired exactly as they are.
Whether you want something as simple as adding a curious “What does this bit do?” to your next intimate moment, or you’re ready to strap in for a multi-tentacled mission, the beauty of alien play is that there’s no right way to do it. Just curiosity, imagination, and consent guiding you through the stars.
Prefer the transcript? Find it here.
I'm your host, Lisa Opel and I'm here to take you on a liberating ride through the world of sex shops, clubs, toys, play and more!
Feel free to send me your questions and wishes anytime on Instagram or under [email protected]
More of me on Instagram (@pleasepinchmehard) and my webpage (www.pleasepinchmehard.com)
My book SEX SEX SEX - Your Workbook for Singles & Couples
My book GIVE IT TO ME! on Amazon (E-Book & Print) and Spotify as an Audiobook
My book SAVED IN NOTES... on Amazon (E-Book, Softback & Hardback)
Need a one-on-one session with a Confidante? I've got you: www.mrs-opel.com


Get full access to Mrs Lisa O | pleasepinchmehard at lisaopel.substack.com/subscribe

#78 (DE): Brauch ich einen Sex Therapeuten?
In dieser Folge geht es um die Fragen hinter der Frage.Um Lustlosigkeit, unterschiedliche Bedürfnisse, unausgesprochene Fantasien und das Gefühl, mit all dem allein zu sein. Eine ehrliche Einladung für Solo und Paare, erstmal hinzuhören, bevor man etwas reparieren will.
Wenn Du mit mir darüber reden magst: www.mrs-opel.com
WERBUNG // BEDUCATED - Manchmal beginnt Veränderung mit einer guten Frage. Wenn du herausfinden willst, wo du auf deiner sexuellen Reise stehst und was dir wirklich gut tut, klick auf den Link zum Beducated Quiz. Am Ende wartet eine individuelle Roadmap zu mehr sexuellem Glück. https://beducate.me/pd2603-ppmh
Prefer the transcript? Find it here.
I'm your host, Lisa Opel and I'm here to take you on a liberating ride through the world of sex shops, clubs, toys, play and more!
Feel free to send me your questions and wishes anytime on Instagram or under [email protected]
More of me on Instagram (@pleasepinchmehard) and my webpage (www.pleasepinchmehard.com)
My book SEX SEX SEX - Your Workbook for Singles & Couples
My book GIVE IT TO ME! on Amazon (E-Book & Print) and Spotify as an Audiobook
My book SAVED IN NOTES... and never sent: horny, grieving and more poems.
Need a one-on-one session with a Confidante? I've got you: www.mrs-opel.com


Get full access to Mrs Lisa O | pleasepinchmehard at lisaopel.substack.com/subscribe

#77 (ENG): My 2025 RECAP.
This year broke me open and I’m not putting myself back the same way. Here are my unfiltered, honest thoughts looking back.
Prefer the transcript? Find it here.
I'm your host, Lisa Opel and I'm here to take you on a liberating ride through the world of sex shops, clubs, toys, play and more!
Feel free to send me your questions and wishes anytime on Instagram or under [email protected]
More of me on Instagram (@pleasepinchmehard) and my webpage (www.pleasepinchmehard.com)
My book SEX SEX SEX - Your Workbook for Singles & Couples
My book GIVE IT TO ME! on Amazon (E-Book & Print) and Spotify as an Audiobook
My book SAVED IN NOTES... on Amazon (E-Book, Softback & Hardback)
Need a one-on-one session with a Confidante? I've got you: www.mrs-opel.com


Get full access to Mrs Lisa O | pleasepinchmehard at lisaopel.substack.com/subscribe

#76 (ENG): No vagina but all power with Ally Hensley.
Ally Hensley was born without a vagina (MRKH). In this conversation, she walks us through the emotional and physical rollercoaster of growing up with a “missing parts” diagnosis. From shame, self-destruction and abusive relationships to healing, sex, friendship, boundaries, and reclaiming her pleasure and voice.
Ally Hensley is an internationally recognised advocate for women’s health, an author, speaker, and the co-founder of MRKH Australia and Global MRKH. Born with MRKH syndrome, her work centres on breaking shame, expanding the narrative of womanhood, and supporting others through the emotional and physical realities of living with a “missing parts” diagnosis. Her memoir Vagina Uncensored challenges stigma with humour, honesty, and deep humanity. Ally also hosts the podcast Stigma Shakers, where she sparks conversations most people are too afraid to start.
🔗 Website: www.allyhensley.com 🔗 Instagram: www.instagram.com/ally__hensley/ 🔗 Podcast: www.instagram.com/stigmashakers/ 🔗 Book: https://amzn.eu/d/9uzrC8X
Watch the episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/aVI9bcDjoYU
Prefer the transcript? Find it here.
I'm your host, Lisa Opel and I'm here to take you on a liberating ride through the world of sex shops, clubs, toys, play and more!
Feel free to send me your questions and wishes anytime on Instagram or under [email protected]
More of me on Instagram (@pleasepinchmehard) and my webpage (www.pleasepinchmehard.com)
My book SEX SEX SEX - Your Workbook for Singles & Couples
My book GIVE IT TO ME! on Amazon (E-Book & Print) and Spotify as an Audiobook
My book SAVED IN NOTES... on Amazon (E-Book, Softback & Hardback)
Need a one-on-one session with a Confidante? I've got you: www.mrs-opel.com


Get full access to Mrs Lisa O | pleasepinchmehard at lisaopel.substack.com/subscribe