Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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What should you consider when preparing to become a host family to a child who is eligible for international adoption? We talk with Misty Lucas, an International Program Director at Gladney Center for Adoption. 
In this episode, we talk about:
For listeners new to this topic, what is a child hosting program, and what are the goals of hosting today? 
How have hosting programs changed in recent years, especially around ethics and child welfare practices? 
What types of children most commonly participate in hosting programs (ages, sibling groups, common needs, etc.)? 
Are children typically already eligible for adoption before participating?
What does it look like to be a host family?
What types of families tend to thrive in hosting programs
What does it mean to advocate for a child during hosting?
What signs may suggest a family is not ready?
What kind of screening, training, and preparation do host families typically complete?
How much information do families usually receive about a child beforehand?
How should families prepare the children already living in their home?
Are there special considerations for families whose children already have trauma histories or who were adopted themselves?
Why is it so important for host families to understand trauma before hosting?
How does trauma commonly show up during hosting, especially in a short-term environment?
What behaviors or emotional responses should families realistically expect?
What are common mistakes well-intentioned host families make?
Hosting programs can raise strong criticisms and concerns. What are the most common criticisms or misunderstandings about hosting?
How do ethical programs work to reduce a child’s feelings of being “chosen” or evaluated?
How are children prepared emotionally before they travel?
How do programs and host families work to avoid creating false hope for children?
What does a typical hosting session look like? How long, what to do, etc.
What activities and support should host families expect during hosting?
What financial realities should families understand before committing?
Can families host even if they are unsure about adoption?
If a family decides they want to pursue adoption, what typically happens next?What does that process and timeline often look like?

What is emotionally difficult for families after a child returns home while adoption decisions are pending?
Are the children made aware of a potential adoption plan once hosting is over? 
What does a successful hosting experience look like from the child’s perspective?
What’s one thing you hope every prospective host family understands before beginning? 
Resources:
Gladney Center for Adoption, Hosting Program
Hosting Package from CreatingaFamilyEd.org
Is Our Family Right for an “Orphan” Hosting Program? 7 Questions to Ask
Prepare for Hosting an International Orphan 
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Question: We have applied to adopt a baby. We’re more or less being told that if we don’t agree to an open adoption, we’ll never get chosen by a birth mom. But, I really don’t want an open adoption. I think kids need just one mom and dad and opening up our family to others will just be confusing for everyone. But, I’m afraid that we’ll never get chosen if I say this.
Resources:
Open Adoption (Resource page)
Listening to Adoptee Voices
Understanding the Birth Parents’ Experience
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Parenting neurodiverse tweens and teens can feel overwhelming, especially when traditional parenting strategies don’t seem to work. In this episode, we talk with Carl Young and Joel Sheagren, co-authors of Embracing Hope: Innovative Strategies to Empower Parents Raising Neurodiverse Teens, about practical, brain-based strategies to reduce conflict, support emotional regulation, strengthen connection, and navigate the hard seasons with more hope.
In this episode, we discuss:
What are parents of tweens and teens carrying right now that you know they want people to understand?
Why do the tween and teen years often become especially hard for neurodiverse kids and their caregivers?
One of the themes in your work is “understanding over stigma.” Can you tell us what that means?
What are examples of behaviors parents are often blamed for, or blamed on the child, that may actually be rooted in neurodevelopmental differences?
Many parents feel confused because traditional parenting advice doesn’t seem to work for their child with neurodiversity. 
Can you explain executive functioning in a way that helps overwhelmed parents understand what their child is actually struggling with day to day? 
What are some real-life ways those struggles show up at home?
What are some common expectations we place on tweens and teens that may not match their developmental abilities? 
How can parents shift toward more reasonable expectations without giving up on growth?
What are some practical strategies to reduce conflict at home while still maintaining structure and boundaries?
We understand that self-regulation is a learned skill that comes from years of our own regulation and then sharing it with our kids, called co-regulation.  What does co-regulation actually look like with a tween or teen who is escalating emotionally?
How can parents respond differently to behaviors like impulsivity, shutdowns, avoidance, perseveration, or lying?
Many caregivers say they feel like they’re “walking on eggshells.” It’s exhausting and creates so much stress in our homes.
Where do you recommend families start when the home has fallen into a state of constant stress or chaos?
How can parents introduce and maintain the “calm” in spite of the chaos that our kids’ neurodivergence may bring with it?
What helps parents hold onto a connection with their child during seasons when everyone feels frustrated or discouraged?
Sometimes families need help redefining success. How do you encourage parents to rethink what thriving can look like for neurodiverse tweens and teens?
Resources:
Embracing Neurodiversity
Embracing Hope: Innovative Strategies to Empower Parents Raising Neurodiverse Teens
Raising Kids with Neurodiversity (ADHD, Autism, & Learning Differences)
Suggested books for Raising Kids with Learning You
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Question: We’re getting close to adopting our foster child, and I keep worrying there are things we should be asking for before finalization that we don’t even know to request. What information or records should we make sure to get from the agency so we truly understand our child’s history and needs?
Resources:
23 Crucial Questions to Ask at Foster Care Placement Meetings
Are You Considering Foster Care Adoption This Year?
Adopting a Child of a Different Race or Culture
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Many parents raising adopted, foster, or kinship children feel like they’re carrying most of the parenting load alone. Talking about it and changing it can be hard. In this episode, Josh Davis, PhD, shares practical, non-blaming strategies to improve communication, build confidence, and create a stronger parenting partnership when raising kids from hard places. As Father's Day approaches, Josh also offers some downloads for Dads!
In this episode, we discuss:
How common is it for one person in a partnership or marriage to feel as if the parenting load is uneven?
How can we influence the relationship to invite our partners into a more balanced dynamic?
What are the common reasons partners step back instead of stepping in? 
What are some signs that maybe criticism—even subtle—is affecting our partner’s willingness to engage?
What do you mean by “lowering the barrier to involvement?”
How can we offer specific, doable examples to our partners without “telling them what to do?”
What scripts can we use, or what language, to invite partnership?
For parents/caregivers raising challenging kids who require a LOT of time, energy, emotional investment, etc., what are some helpful ways to stay emotionally connected and protect their marriage or partnership?
If a listener wants to take what they’ve learned here and invite their partner in to share the parenting load, what are one or two first steps to try? 
Resources:
Celebrating & Supporting Men in Foster & Kinship Care
Josh Davis, PhD  - www.joshdavisphd.com/www.joshdavisphd.com and www.nlpfordads.com 
Why Mentors are Crucial When Raising Relative Kids
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building