Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care

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Parenting neurodiverse tweens and teens can feel overwhelming, especially when traditional parenting strategies don’t seem to work. In this episode, we talk with Carl Young and Joel Sheagren, co-authors of Embracing Hope: Innovative Strategies to Empower Parents Raising Neurodiverse Teens, about practical, brain-based strategies to reduce conflict, support emotional regulation, strengthen connection, and navigate the hard seasons with more hope.
In this episode, we discuss:
What are parents of tweens and teens carrying right now that you know they want people to understand?
Why do the tween and teen years often become especially hard for neurodiverse kids and their caregivers?
One of the themes in your work is “understanding over stigma.” Can you tell us what that means?
What are examples of behaviors parents are often blamed for, or blamed on the child, that may actually be rooted in neurodevelopmental differences?
Many parents feel confused because traditional parenting advice doesn’t seem to work for their child with neurodiversity. 
Can you explain executive functioning in a way that helps overwhelmed parents understand what their child is actually struggling with day to day? 
What are some real-life ways those struggles show up at home?
What are some common expectations we place on tweens and teens that may not match their developmental abilities? 
How can parents shift toward more reasonable expectations without giving up on growth?
What are some practical strategies to reduce conflict at home while still maintaining structure and boundaries?
We understand that self-regulation is a learned skill that comes from years of our own regulation and then sharing it with our kids, called co-regulation.  What does co-regulation actually look like with a tween or teen who is escalating emotionally?
How can parents respond differently to behaviors like impulsivity, shutdowns, avoidance, perseveration, or lying?
Many caregivers say they feel like they’re “walking on eggshells.” It’s exhausting and creates so much stress in our homes.
Where do you recommend families start when the home has fallen into a state of constant stress or chaos?
How can parents introduce and maintain the “calm” in spite of the chaos that our kids’ neurodivergence may bring with it?
What helps parents hold onto a connection with their child during seasons when everyone feels frustrated or discouraged?
Sometimes families need help redefining success. How do you encourage parents to rethink what thriving can look like for neurodiverse tweens and teens?
Resources:
Embracing Neurodiversity
Embracing Hope: Innovative Strategies to Empower Parents Raising Neurodiverse Teens
Raising Kids with Neurodiversity (ADHD, Autism, & Learning Differences)
Suggested books for Raising Kids with Learning You
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

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Question: We’re getting close to adopting our foster child, and I keep worrying there are things we should be asking for before finalization that we don’t even know to request. What information or records should we make sure to get from the agency so we truly understand our child’s history and needs?
Resources:
23 Crucial Questions to Ask at Foster Care Placement Meetings
Are You Considering Foster Care Adoption This Year?
Adopting a Child of a Different Race or Culture
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Many parents raising adopted, foster, or kinship children feel like they’re carrying most of the parenting load alone. Talking about it and changing it can be hard. In this episode, Josh Davis, PhD, shares practical, non-blaming strategies to improve communication, build confidence, and create a stronger parenting partnership when raising kids from hard places. As Father's Day approaches, Josh also offers some downloads for Dads!
In this episode, we discuss:
How common is it for one person in a partnership or marriage to feel as if the parenting load is uneven?
How can we influence the relationship to invite our partners into a more balanced dynamic?
What are the common reasons partners step back instead of stepping in? 
What are some signs that maybe criticism—even subtle—is affecting our partner’s willingness to engage?
What do you mean by “lowering the barrier to involvement?”
How can we offer specific, doable examples to our partners without “telling them what to do?”
What scripts can we use, or what language, to invite partnership?
For parents/caregivers raising challenging kids who require a LOT of time, energy, emotional investment, etc., what are some helpful ways to stay emotionally connected and protect their marriage or partnership?
If a listener wants to take what they’ve learned here and invite their partner in to share the parenting load, what are one or two first steps to try? 
Resources:
Celebrating & Supporting Men in Foster & Kinship Care
Josh Davis, PhD  - www.joshdavisphd.com/www.joshdavisphd.com and www.nlpfordads.com 
Why Mentors are Crucial When Raising Relative Kids
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
Question: Our daughter is 11 months old and was adopted through an open adoption. We have a relationship with her birth mother, but don't yet feel it's the right moment to ask about family history, and her birth father is completely unknown to us. We do know that both birth parents are Hispanic, but beyond that, we have no additional information about her heritage or background. We want her to grow up with as rich a sense of her identity and heritage as possible. What guidance do adoption professionals offer around using genetic testing like 23andMe or AncestryDNA for adoptees? Is there an age-appropriate time to do this, or is it better to wait and let her decide for herself when she's older? Are there any other considerations unique to the adoptee experience we should keep in mind?
Resources:
Genetic Testing for Adoptees: Key Considerations and Benefits
Genetic Testing for Adoptees - Is It Worth It?
Genetic Testing and Genealogy for Adoptees
Listen here to learn more about our Executive Director, Linda Fiore
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Drop us some Fan Mail. Thanks!
We talk a lot about the child’s experience in foster care, but what is this experience like for the child’s birth parents? You may be surprised! Join our conversation with Dr. Darcey Merritt, a professor at the University of Chicago School of Social Work who researches this topic.
In this episode, we discuss:
What is a typical scenario, if there is such a thing, of how a parent finds themselves connecting with the child welfare system?
What rights do birth parents have within the system?
What are some of the challenges families face before the child is taken into custody?
What are some of the challenges that they face once the child is in foster care?
How can you become an ally to the child’s parents?
How does poverty factor in?
Who most commonly reports birth parents to child welfare?
How does race factor in?
Research in the area of working memory on parental decision-making.
Support the show
Please leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Weekly podcasts
Weekly articles/blog posts
Resource pages on all aspects of family building