In cities across China, there’s a special kind of consultant you can hire if you find out your spouse is cheating. They’re called “mistress dispellers,” and their job is to work their way into your spouse’s life, get close to their lover and convince the pair to break it off. When all goes according to plan, the cheaters end up believing it was their idea to end the affair.In this episode of “Modern Love,” the filmmaker Elizabeth Lo tells Anna Martin what it was like to embed herself with a mistress dispeller over the course of three years. Lo explains some of the secrets to the mistress dispeller’s success, and why working on the project played a role in her own breakup.Lo’s documentary “Mistress Dispeller” is in select theaters today.Listener call out: The Modern Love team wants to know how differences over money are straining your relationship. Tell us what’s going on, and we may get you some expert advice on an upcoming episode. Find out how to submit your voice memo here.Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times.Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.
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31:53
For Her 70th Birthday, She Hired an Escort
Gail Rice, a writer and a therapist, was approaching her 70th birthday. She had given up on dating apps and hadn’t had a romantic connection with anyone in years. But for her 70th, she wanted a very specific birthday present: an orgasm.So Rice decided to hire an escort. In this episode, she describes what went right, what went wrong and what she’s planning for her next birthday.You can read Gail Rice’s essay about hiring an escort in the newsletter “Oldster.”Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times.Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.The Modern Love column is looking for “breakup lines.” If you have a memorable story about what you said when you were breaking up with someone, or what someone said to you, you can share it here. The deadline is Sunday, Oct. 5.
Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.
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36:54
How an Off-Script Moment Changed Jay Duplass’s Life
Jay Duplass knows the power of improvisation. Many years ago, an unscripted, cliffside interaction changed his life, helping to set in motion the events that would lead to his new movie, “The Baltimorons.” The film features a newly sober comedian and a workaholic dentist who meet on Christmas Eve during an emergency dental procedure. What follows is a surprising love story that unfolds over 24 hours in Baltimore. The movie itself is an exercise in being open to unexpected connections.In this episode, Duplass talks about what it means to “yes, and” your way through life and how that can lead to some of our most rewarding experiences.He also reads a Modern Love essay called “The Dentist Who Treated My Divorce,” by Hillery Stone, and reflects on how the power of dropping our assumed roles can make way for deep interpersonal connection.Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times.Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.
Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.
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You Think You Know Elizabeth Gilbert. You Don’t.
When her wildly popular memoir “Eat Pray Love” came out in 2006, Elizabeth Gilbert suddenly found herself touted as an expert on self fulfillment, spirituality and love. Readers might assume that Gilbert had vanquished her demons as she settled into a life of fame and marriage to the man she fell in love with at the end of the book.But her struggle was far from over. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Gilbert talks about a new love story that almost destroyed her life.Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times.Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.
Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.
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53:43
Why I Always Dreamed of Being a Sister Wife
Christine Woolley always knew she wanted to be in a plural marriage. She grew up in a fundamentalist Mormon community, loved having two moms and several grandmothers, and wanted to raise her own children in that environment. As an adult, and after Woolley married a man with two other wives, her family decided to share their lives on the TLC show “Sister Wives.”Woolley stayed in the relationship for 25 years, with much of it televised, but slowly she realized she needed to leave and go out on her own. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Woolley discusses what she loved about her upbringing, the joys and pitfalls of a shared marriage, and what she’s learned from her first monogamous relationship.Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times.Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story.
Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
For 20 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people. Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast.
Each week, host Anna Martin brings you stories and conversations about love in all its glorious permutations, dumb pitfalls and life-changing moments. New episodes every Wednesday.
Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.
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