Rich Text

"We tell ourselves stories in order to live," Joan Didion famously wrote at the outset of her 1979 essay collection "The White Album." This was always descriptive, rather than self-congratulating. It's not that our souls are fed by art, but that we need to convince ourselves that our lives are more than random chaos. In order to continue on, in order to give meaning to lives filled with pain and drudgery and confusion, we must edit and construct. We must, as the girlies say, romanticize our lives.
And wives are asked to endure a great deal by romanticizing it. Perhaps that is one reason we are so gripped by their raw confessions.
In two much-discussed recent memoirs, Lindy West and Belle Burden puncture the fairy tales of wifehood that they once bought into, reiterated, and sought to embody. In "Adult Braces," West's followup to her hit memoir "Shrill," she reconsiders the triumphant ending of her earlier book: her marriage. In "Adult Braces," she admits that her marriage was troubled from the start by her husband Aham's insistence that they embrace polyamory, a desire she hoped to dispel by becoming the perfect wife. She learns that Aham (who has since come out as nonbinary and uses he/they pronouns) has secretly acted on their arrangement and has a girlfriend, Roya; as she processes his betrayals, she rents a van and road trips to Florida to find herself. When she returns, she is ready to turn their couple into a throuple. Her vision of a happy marriage has been revised.
But for Burden, the happy marriage disappears into a puff of smoke. After almost two decades of marriage, during which she gave up her legal career to raise their three children, she discovers that her husband is having an affair with a younger woman. Soon after, he walks away from not just Burden, but their children, their home, and their entire life. Left to pick up the wreckage, she spends the memoir sorting through her ideals of marriage, wifehood, and motherhood, trying to understand how she surrendered herself financially and emotionally to a man who could sever himself from her so abruptly.
Both West and Burden find themselves grappling with the crumbling of the stories they told themselves, and reevaluating the wifely roles they sought to embody. They linger over the value that being married to men granted them in the eyes of the world, and the terror of having that taken away; they consider how their anxiety about being a perfect wife (and, in Burden's case, mother) may have made them brittle and exhausted. But we also see what relief they find in being able to sink into having a partner to protect, if not control, them. If there is a cost to pay, well, it's a bargain they were happy to make.
In this episode, we discuss both books (and West's ill-fated rollout, the fevered discourse around the state of her polyamorous marriage, and Aham's furious public response). We delve into their conceptions of ideal wifehood and how they revise them as their marriages founder. We discuss the much-rumored death of millennial feminism, and whether embracing the right ideology can ever really make you happy. And, of course, we discuss how being a Good Wife always, always means doing PR for your husband – and consider whether a divorce memoir is so alluring because the author can finally stop spinning.
Hope you enjoy! xo
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It became clear that "Love Story," the FX-Hulu limited series about JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette, had broken through in a major way when Curbed ran an article titled "Kennedy Cosplay Is Eating The City."
Young women were flocking to C.O. Bigelow, the pharmacy where Bessette shopped for her headbands, in droves. Panna II, where the fictional Kennedy and Bessette went on their first date (likely apocryphal) was being discovered by a new generation of New Yorkers and tourists. The same thing was happening with Bubby's and The Odeon and even the stoop outside of the couple's former Tribeca loft. "It seems the city is caught up in 'Love Story' mania," wrote Clio Chang.
Except it wasn't just New York City. Seemingly out of nowhere, we were all being deluged with reels and TikToks about how to recreate Bessette's '90s minimalist style or style your boyfriend like JFK Jr. or shop for vintage Calvin Klein and Yohji Yamamoto. A mini-series had officially become a cultural flashpoint.
"Love Story" itself, executive produced by Ryan Murphy, is a totally passable, very schlocky, incredibly imperfect cultural product. But what felt more interesting than the piece of art itself was interrogating why it was able to pierce through in an increasingly atomized pop cultural ecosystem. What is it about JFK Jr. and CBK that still has us collectively in a chokehold, nearly 30 years after their tragic deaths?
To interrogate that question, I felt like there was only one guest that could fill in while Claire was out on vacation: writer and iconic New Yorker Glynnis MacNicol. Not only is Glynnis a friend, but she also happens to have a somewhat outsize knowledge of '90s New York and Carolyn Bessette. She even wrote a fabulous essay for the NYTimes about the "Love Story" phenomenon: "Carolyn Bessette Was Living the Dream. Then She Met John.Carolyn Bessette Was Living the Dream. Then She Met John."
In this episode, we get into the mixed critical reactions to "Love Story," why '90s nostalgia has gripped the masses, the intersection of fashion, politics and Hollywood wrapped up in JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette's pairing, and whether this "love story" is actually more of a horror story. Hope you enjoy! Xo
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We watched Netflix's latest experiment in romance, the age-blind dating show "Age of Attraction," with a blend of boredom and horror that eventually shaded into a spicier blend of horror and fascination. The show's finale dropped this week, and we are finally ready to weigh in. So let's go!
"Age of Attraction" brings together a group of mixed-age singles to explore relationships without learning each other's ages, in the interest of showing that age is just a number, that we shouldn't put each other in boxes, yada yada yada. The show concept is not only ludicrous on its face, as singles can see each other while dating and should be able to assess what age their potential partners are, but is quickly given the lie during a quick montage midseason, which reveals that all of the couples who turned out to be close in age were summarily cut from the show. (You guys age-blind dated too hard, sorry!)
This is a show that invites us to both gawk at and romanticize relationships between people who are decades apart and in completely different life stages. We are asked to consider the deeper compatibility between a 38-year-old father of tween daughters and a 22-year-old who seems just about old enough to be hired as their babysitter. After all, he is young at heart, and she is desperate for a man who is emotionally mature enough to listen to Taylor Swift without spontaneously combusting. (Dear God, are the Gen Z lads okay?) We are told that a 33-year age gap has nothing to do with the breakdown of a relationship between a 60-year-old man who treats his 27-year-old girlfriend like an underperforming intern; they simply didn't share communication styles.
The immaturity on display is immense, and it is mostly from the older partners, who are drawn to the youthfulness of their younger loves but also easily retreat to the authority of their bigger ages to regain control in their relationships. This is particularly unsettling when it involves one woman being pressured for sex by her older boyfriend, who clearly hopes to defeat her boundary through superior debate skills. But it's not just Vanelle and Jorge; unhealthy dynamics are all over this show.
In this episode, we discuss the show's concept and structure, the cultural moment it's speaking to, and how the central relationships unfold – plus, that reunion trailer and how it hints at the state of these romances today. Hope you enjoy! xo
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Season 4 of "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" is a dark one, but its darkest moments arrive in the second half of the season. Most of them involve star Taylor Frankie Paul, whose toxic cycle with her ex Dakota Mortensen is fully reignited as the season progresses, even as she's gearing up to star on "The Bachelorette." By the end of episode 10, it's abundantly clear that Taylor is in no way prepared to cut off Dakota, responding with coy ambivalence when he asks her to save him a rose. And she's in no way prepared to take on this role.
As we were preparing our coverage for the second half of this season, more news broke: Taylor and Dakota were involved in a domestic dispute last month, and both have alleged physical violence by the other. The police were called, though no arrests were made. Dakota has also reportedly accused Taylor of other assaults, and of abusing their young son. There is an ongoing investigation with DCFS, as well as with the local police, regarding these allegations. (Note: We will be discussing these allegations in some, though not excessive, detail in this episode. Please listen with care.)
Taylor has said very little publicly about these reports, and ABC and "The Bachelorette" production have said even less. It appears that the show will air as scheduled; the network clearly hopes to weather the storm. But the backlash to ABC's decision to cast Taylor, who already had a documented history of domestic violence (she was still on probation for the prior incident while filming the show) has been intense.
In this episode, we discuss what we see unfold between Taylor and Dakota in the last five episodes of "SLOMW," as well as the current allegations and the implications for "The Bachelorette" and the reality TV genre as a whole. Then we turn to the other women's storylines for this batch of episodes, notably Whitney and Jen's falling out, Layla opening up about her struggles with an eating disorder, Jessi and Jordan's functionally defunct marriage, and Jace and Mikayla's separation.
Related Reading and Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
"Taylor Frankie Paul’s Turn on ‘The Bachelorette’ Is Coming Under Fire," by Shivani Gonzalez, NYT
"‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ filming on pause amid Taylor Frankie Paul investigation, sources say," by Rebecca Cohen, NBC
"Cinnabon Cuts Ties With ‘The Bachelorette’ and ‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ Amid Taylor Frankie Paul and Dakota Mortensen Domestic Violence Investigation," Jack Dunn, Variety
"Taylor Frankie Paul Breaks Silence After Domestic Violence Investigation News: 'It's a Heavy Time,'" by Liza Esquibias and Benjamin VanHoose, People
"Taylor Frankie Paul Says Domestic Violence Headlines Feel 'Like the End of the World' in First Televised Interview Since Scandal," by Rachel McRady, People
"Taylor Frankie Paul's ex Dakota speaks out amid domestic violence investigation," by Sarah Hearon and Ryan Coleman, EW
"The Price of Perfection: Layla Taylor on Mormonism and the weight of belonging," by Shaquille Heath, The Cut
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If you’re a Substack subscriber, go check your email for a gift link to access Rich Text! (If it's not there, it will be within an hour or so.) Everyone else, welcome! 
A little over five years ago, we started Rich Text on Substack because we needed a change. We had been at HuffPost for a decade, from the peak of its heyday to its somewhat ignominious acquisition by BuzzFeed. We had cycled through different positions as writers and editors, and we had survived round after round of layoffs. We had started Here to Make Friends, a feminist reality dating show podcast, and it had lasted despite occasional attempts by management to pivot it to video. We had been lucky enough to collaborate with brilliant editors, writers and producers, but we had also watched those colleagues leave. We were burnt out and rudderless. Our hope was that a little side project on Substack would give us a low-stakes, chill place to mess around, blog, try random stuff, and get back in touch with our voices. A creative refresh, if you will. 
Then, almost exactly five years ago, the layoff cycle finally came for us. We were called into our virtual HR meetings with a taped (but unedited) “Bachelor” recap still dangling. It was never published. But we weren’t ready to say goodbye to podcasting, and we were suddenly energized by the possibility of taking control of the show, of our writing, and of our creative futures. Substack became not just a space to experiment, but the home base of our entire body of work. And our wonderful subscribers allowed us to keep doing that work – while paying our bills, including Claire’s eye-popping daycare tuition.
In so many ways, our time at Substack gave us all of the things we had ever hoped for. We were able to build, brick by brick, a tiny media company of two. We were able to pay for our health care (Emma) and child care (Claire). We found a vibrant community full of brilliant, challenging, funny people – all of whom wanted to analyze culture in the way that we did! After years of being limited to “Bachelor” recaps on our podcast, and following the whims of editorial leadership when it came to story selection, we were able to truly take the reins, writing and podcasting about all the reality shows, rom-coms, weird viral essays, prestige dramas, and sociopolitical trends our little hearts desired. And we got to do it all on our terms, for the best audience in the business. We have never taken these gifts for granted, not for one single day. We recognize how very lucky we are to be able to make a living doing something that we truly love, and we're incredibly, profoundly grateful to all of you for supporting our work.
But as with any media ecosystem, even a relatively scrappy indie one, there came challenges. After years of natural growth and support from Substack staffers, both waned. The platform began to prioritize bringing over large, institutional publications and celebrity writers over mid-size publications like ours. Discoverability became more challenging, and Substack kept ending up in the news because of its tacit support for Nazis and transphobes. The latest big development is that Substack has partnered with… Polymarket. All of these things left us with the looming sense that we would have to make the leap to another platform at some point in time. But, of course, making a big change is really fucking scary. Especially when that change could upend your ability to pay your bills. 
So when Patreon reached out, it felt like a golden opportunity to make a leap with real support – and one we might never get again. Patreon is a platform built originally for podcasters, which is a big part of what we do on Rich Text. We loved the idea of being in a place where audio content is truly valued, and where we can be an active part of shaping what the newsletter product will be in the future. We loved that the financial investment that Patreon was willing to make into our scrappy little media project would allow us to rebuild without complete and total panic haunting us at every turn. 
Patreon, of course, isn’t perfect. No platform will be. But the hope is that we can write our next chapter sustainably. We want to set ourselves up so that Rich Text is something we can continue making for the next five years and then another five years after that. And we feel like some of the new features we’ll have access to on Patreon – organized collections! The ability to pay for one-off posts or series! More tier options! – will allow us to grow in a healthy way.
Now that we’re here, in our unfamiliar new home, surrounded by moving boxes and art we don’t know where to hang yet, it feels a little scary and stressful. There’s a lot to do. But that also means a lot of possibility. All the same things you knew and (hopefully) loved back at Substack will be here: weekly recommendations and podcasts, occasional essays, subscriber chats. We’re also looking forward to experimenting with new features and bonus content – and implementing your feedback from our big reader survey last month! – as we figure out what will make Rich Text itself an even richer text in the coming years. There will be more conversations about the motherhood divide, our personal lives, reality television scandals, bizarre made-for-streaming holiday rom-coms about sexy snowmen and viral essays that set your group chats ablaze. There will be more writing about girl culture, the ways fatherhood is treated vs. motherhood, books we love, TV we love, and progressive politics. 
Trust us: We KNOW that asking you to change over your subscription to a whole different platform is super annoying. The whole point of a subscription is that it’s seamless! You should never have to think about it! We, too, hate dealing with the process of moving our information over to a new app, linking up custom podcast feeds again, etc. We did not make the choice to inflict this on you lightly. We really believe that Patreon will be a more sustainable and welcoming space for our work and for this community. And we are here – along with the REAL HUMANS of the Patreon team – to make this transition as easy as possible!
⚠️ Important note for Substack subscribers
If you’re coming from Substack, we're gifting you access to our paid membership on Patreon. You should have received an email with your redemption link and details on how to claim it.
Check your email for details on claiming your FREE access 

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Essays: Read our occasional musings on topics cultural, political, and personal.

💬 Frequent Texter ($6 per month) 💬
Access to Rich Text Podcast Episodes: Access our weekly member-only podcast, and the full archive of episodes.

Weekly Recommendations: Get our weekly dispatch on what we’ve been reading, watching, listening to, buying, and making.

Essays: Read our occasional musings on topics cultural, political, and personal.

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Rich Text Chat: Connect with other members and discuss your favorite topics, from appointment TV to political news to random gossip, in private, subscriber-only spaces.

Reminder: If you’re coming from Substack, your gifted access link is in your email. (If it's not there, it will be soon.) Make sure to redeem it so you’re all set.
Thank you for being here! xo Claire & Emma
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