Accidental Gods

• Beyond Zero Sum: Rehumanising our Conflicts with Carm Aufderheide of NorthStar Training Solutions

  All flourishing is mutual, that's a given. And yet the schisms in our culture, the tribal divides and limbic hijack seem to grow deeper and more powerful by the day. It doesn't have to be like this.  We do have the tools of connection, of genuine listening, of offering trust to gain trust and offering respect to gain respect, we just need to know how  - and when - to put them into practice.  If we're going to move forward into that future we'd be proud to leave behind, we need to start practicing these skills as if the world depended on them - because it does.  This week's guest is someone who practices and teaches the deep, transformative skills of conflict resolution daily.  Carm Aufderheide has a master’s degree in conflict and dispute resolution (CRES), and qualifications in positive reinforcement dog training from the Karen Pryor Professional Dog Training Academy (KPA-CTP and CPDT-KA) and in Separation Anxiety from Malena DeMartini, bringing both to her consultations in her NorthStar Training Solutions in Oregon. Together, these put her right in the middle of quite fierce conflicts that rage around the dog training world over the various styles of dog training, most of which boil down to: do we use force or don't we?  This is a perfect microcosm of the greater macrocosm of our torn and wounded world and Carm brings her dual skills to this with grace and intelligence and a fierce compassion that is a joy to encounter.  I first came across Carm on the Functional Dog Collaborative podcast and was blown away by the clarity of her thinking, and her capacity to live true to her convictions. I made contact later that day and we set up time for the podcast.  That was roughly six months ago, when the world was a different place. Now, recording on the day of the Pope's death, as our reality spirals deeper into chaos, it feels ever more essential that we learn these skills.   Carm suggested a whole set of reading before we recorded and I have put a link to all the books, as well as Carm's NorthStar website in the show notes.   Northstar Training Solutions https://www.northstartraining.info/ Street Epistemology https://www.streetepistemology.com/Albert Mehrabian's 7-38-55 Rule https://www.rightattitudes.com/2008/10/04/7-38-55-rule-personal-communication/Carm on the Functional Dog Collaborative podcast Carm's Recommended readingHow Minds Change by David McRaneySupercommunicators by Charles Duhigg High Conflict by Amanda RipleyThe Book of Beautiful Questions by Warren BergerNever Split the Difference by Chris VossWe Can Work it Out by Marshall RosenbergIf you're interested in joining us at a Gathering, or in the Membership, please follow the links below: Accidental Gods Gatherings https://accidentalgods.life/gatherings-2025/Accidental Gods Membership https://accidentalgods.life/join-us/

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  1:35:41
• Red Pill/Blue Pill, Green Pill/True Pill – Creating a Media Commons with Debs Grayson of Opus Independents

  Our legacy - or status quo - media is owned and run by billionaires for billionaires and the stories they promote are the ones that will keep us all in line. How do we shift the global narrative towards a future of mutual flourishing?It is axiomatic of this podcast that stories – the good and the bad – are what got us to where we are. We are a storied species. Everything we do arises from the stories we tell ourselves and each other about ourselves, each other and our relationship with the communities of place, purpose and passion around us. Often, we're seeking respect and the pride of knowing we've contributed to the things we care about.  But many of us are living in media echo chambers which have no connection to the other bubbles around us. So how do we bridge the gaps? How do we created a media eco-system, a commons, that works for the people by the people, growing stories of agency and empowerment, motivation and direction in, by and from our communities?This week's guest, Debs Grayson, is a facilitator, researcher and organiser living in Sheffield. She works for Opus Independents, where she spends most of her time developing relatable, accessible metrics to track progress towards the Sheffield City Goals, and also on the People's Newsroom Initiative (PNI). PNI is a project housed within Opus broadly focused on journalism innovation, and our recent work has been reimagining journalism as 'storytelling commoning' - collective practices of sharing and weaving together stories that can support a just climate transition.With a background in media research and campaigning for a transformed media system, she previously worked for the Media Reform Coalition running the 'BBC and Beyond' campaign, which also developed ideas of a 'media commons'. Alongside her role at Opus, she is currently working with the independent press regulator IMPRESS on various projects, including presenting Dis/Mis, a podcast on dis- and mis-information and how we build a trustworthy media.  Opus: The People's Newsroom https://www.weareopus.org/the-peoples-newsroomElinor Ostrom 8 Rules for Managing a Commons https://earthbound.report/2018/01/15/elinor-ostroms-8-rules-for-managing-the-commons/Hastings Commons https://hastingscommons.com/ Amam Cymru https://www.amam.cymru/Amam Cyrmu post on the People's Newsroom https://amam.cymru/the-peoples-newsroom/what-is-a-storytelling-commons-and-why-is-it-so-hard-to-talk-aboutDis/Mis podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/dis-mis-exploring-misinformation-in-modern-media/id1775649531Accidental Gods Gatherings https://accidentalgods.life/gatherings-2025/Accidental Gods Membership https://accidentalgods.life/join-us/

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  1:24:28
• How to Save the World - tipping points of social diffusion with Katie Patrick of Hello World Labs

  'If you're not changing the numbers, you're not changing the world.' So says this week's guest, Katie Patrick. Katie Patrick is a Silicon Valley based environmental engineer, climate action designer, and author of How to Save the World: How to Make Changing the World the Greatest Game We've Ever Played, now taught in Harvard University’s graduate program and top recommended reading material by UNEP.Katie specializes in designing innovative apps, dashboards, and campaigns that drive environmental action by leveraging insights from behavioural science and game design. Her work combines rigorous research with creative execution to develop solutions that inspire sustainable behaviors and measurable impact. She has advised the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP), NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL), Google, the U.S. State Department, the University of California, the European Commission, Dassault Systèmes, the Institute for the Future, Magic Leap, and Stanford University, as well as numerous startups focused on behavior design for environmental action.Katie is passionate about biophilic design and envisions a future shaped by ecotopian principles. Her thought leadership has been recognized globally; she delivered a TEDx talk in 2020 and spoke at the UN General Assembly in 2021 on the role of creativity, optimism, and imagination in environmental change.In our conversation, we range wide and deep through and across the ways each of us can bridge the divides in our cultures and bring change to our local worlds - and thus to the wider world, exploring the power of gamification, evidence base and feedback loops to create real, enduring change.  Hello World https://www.helloworlde.com/Climate Action Design School https://www.helloworlde.com/climate-action-design-schoolKatie on Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/katie-patrick/Katie's TED Talk. https://youtu.be/GOWYwEtzeH4/Katie's Book https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/how-to-save-the-world-katie-patrick/1671034Katie's Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/6QaoYkmNqLSsn89zWMw3nl?si=540f4604608d4652Accidental Gods Gatherings https://accidentalgods.life/gatherings-2025/Accidental Gods Membership https://accidentalgods.life/join-us/

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  1:18:42
• Bonus: Thoughts from the Edge - If the current system is not fit for purpose, what's our core response?

  Suppose we accept that the current system is not broken - it is doing what it was always designed to do - which is to shovel wealth and power from the many to the few at a human scale and from the more-than-human world to the industrial/technical maw of predatory capitalism at an ecological scale.This is a death cult and it is in its death throes, but it will take us all down with it if we let it.Suppose then, we accept that, while the current system may not be broken, it is absolutely not fit for purpose, if that purpose is the continuation of complex life on earth; if it is the flourishing of humanity as an integral part of the web of life; if it is a world predicated on values of compassion, decency, integrity, generosity-of-spirit and absolute confidence in our place as conscious nodes in the web of life.IF this is the case - then we need a whole new system. We need a movement that will bring this system into being.In this solo podcast, Manda explores what the baselines of a new system might look, feel and work like.Manda's Substack post  https://substack.com/home/post/p-158280401Jan Andrew Bloxham post https://substack.com/home/post/p-157874742Jason Hickel 'No the US is not a beacon of democracy' https://substack.com/@jasonhickel/note/p-158661867If you want to share the journey with us, we're here: Accidental Gods Gatherings https://accidentalgods.life/gatherings-2025/Accidental Gods Membership https://accidentalgods.life/join-us/

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  35:02
• Wellbeing: It’s about wholeness, not happiness - with Dr Mark Fabian, author of Beyond Happy

  We grow up thinking we want to be happy (or at least, not-sad).  But happiness isn't enough. What we need is wellbeing, and as Dr Mark Fabian quotes in the dedication to his book, Beyond Happy, "Wellbeing is about wholeness, not happiness, and wholeness is so much more demanding than happiness.' So what is wholeness, and what does it demand of us? As the old world crumbles and the new is struggling into being, what steps can each of us take to bring ourselves ever closer to a sense of being complete? This week's guest, Dr Mark Fabian, is Associate Professor of Public Policy at the University of Warwick, and an affiliate fellow at the Bennett Institute for Public Policy at the University of Cambridge. In, Beyond Happy, his first book for a general audience, he explores how evolution has wired us to keep happiness just out of reach, leaving us perpetually stuck on a happiness treadmill.  Instead of striving to escape it, he argues that we should focus on making the treadmill a place we want to be.  Finding this place of relative equanimity begins with listening to our emotions, discovering intrinsic motivation and pursuing our authentic values.  Mark coaches us through this process of self-actualisation and then knits it together into a collective, cooperative way of being, building relationships that matter and that work. Mark's book will be available in April - here: https://bedfordsquarepublishers.co.uk/book/beyond-happy/Or order from your favourite local independent bookshop. Please remember to put a review up on Amazon and GoodReads as well as anywhere else you feel is worthwhile. (this applies to every book you read and like - algorithms matter) andIf you want to share the journey with us, we're here: Accidental Gods Gatherings https://accidentalgods.life/gatherings-2025/Accidental Gods Membership https://accidentalgods.life/join-us/

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  1:48:00

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