There is the Leviathan.He moves in the deep,in the playground of God.
He waits for his foodin its season.
God asks,Can you draw him out with a fishhook?Put a cord through his nose?Make a covenant with him?
The Zippo. He ran his thumb across the worn edges. Took it out of his pocket.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Act I. The Affair
Copenhagen, spring 1945, three weeks after the Germans left.
You could still smell it. Smoke, petrol, something sour underneath. The city was learning how to breathe again. Nobody knew what to do with their hands.
She was twenty-three. Blonde. Thin in a way that made people look away. She’d spent four years learning to be invisible. How to walk past soldiers without being seen. To keep her face empty. Make herself small enough to survive.
He was American. A sergeant from Kansas. People thought all of Kansas was flat, but not where he was from. Huge houses on the river bluffs, oak trees. Nearly every year, someone drowned. They jumped off the bridge, knowing they could swim out of the great river. They could not.
He had a wide smile and big hands and he talked too loud for any room he was in. They met in “Glasshall in Tivoli.” A Danish jazz club. Defiant of German rule to the end. Jazz was Allied music. The Nazis despised it.
She was drinking alone. She knew she shouldn’t, but the Germans were gone, and she didn’t feel afraid.
He sat down across from her without asking.
“You speak English?”
“A little.”
“More than a little, I think.”
She didn’t smile. But she didn’t leave. She touched her hair.
By June, the city remembered what it was.
The canals turned silver in the long light. Sun sat on the water like a thin sheet of metal. The sun only pretended to set, hovering just below the horizon, turning the sky the color of bruised peaches over slate roofs and church spires. People sat outside again. Chairs scraped on cobblestone. Glasses clinked. Bicycles hummed past in steady lines.
They drank beer in Nyhavn. Watched the boats. She laughed too loud. Heard herself. Didn’t stop.
She showed him the city. The parts the Germans hadn’t touched and the parts they had. Street corners, the paint still new. Shop windows. Fresh glass that didn’t quite match the old panes.
The gardens, gates open again, lights coming on one by one. The fountains, running with joy. Shopkeepers repainting their signs with careful strokes, making the letters bold again.
They walked along the lakes at dusk. The air cooled and smelled of water and grass. Swans drifted in the half-dark, white shapes sliding over black glass. He threw bread. She told him not to, said it made them aggressive. He did it anyway, and she didn’t mind. A couple passed, arms linked, moving slow like they had nowhere they had to be.
One night, he put his arm around her. She let him.
It happened the way those things happened. He had cigarettes. Real ones. American tobacco. She had a room with a window that faced the harbor. The city was broken. They were alive. Enough reason for anything.
He talked a lot. She learned this about him early. He talked like he didn’t know the precious silence. It was something to be filled, like the world would forget him if he stopped making noise.
He talked about the war. His unit. The things they’d seen. Friends he’d lost. Kansas. The bluffs. The river. The fields. The sky that stretched out forever. He talked about what he was going to do when he got home. Big plans, big dreams. Like he had a key to the future.
She listened. He was kind. Happy. Funny. She didn’t talk about the occupation. Didn’t talk about her father, who’d been taken in ‘43 and never came back. Her father had believed in things. Agreements. Treaties. A league of nations. He’d been wrong.
She didn’t talk about what she’d done to survive. The humiliations. Decisions no one should have to make at nineteen.
Some things you don’t say. Not even to the man in your bed.
One night, she showed him the emerald.
She kept it in a box beneath a loose floorboard. Her grandmother had given it to her before the war. Before everything. It was small, cloudy, the color of ice under green water. She had hidden it from the German searches. Always worried she would lose it.
“Family?” he asked, holding it up to the light.
“My great-great-grandmother’s.”
He turned it over in his palm. Squinted at it like estimating its value.
Then he handed it back.
“Nice,” he said. Reached for a cigarette, a Lucky Strike. Lit it with his Zippo. Black crackle metal. Rounded on the edges, where the color of the rubbed metal shown through.
She watched him light it. He glanced towards the window. Still talking. He had already forgotten the stone in her hand.
She put it back in the box. Back under the floor. Didn’t say anything.
He had a pocket full of stones. She’d seen them. Sapphires, rubies, a diamond. He was twenty-four years old, and he’d already had someone’s lifetime.
Her emerald was cloudy. Sentimental. Not worth much.
He didn’t want it.
He shipped out in September.
They stood at the dock. He held her hands, looked into her eyes, said what he thought were the right things men say. I’ll write, I’ll come back, this isn’t the end.
She nodded.
She didn’t believe him. But it cost her nothing to let him say it, and it seemed to cost him something, so she let him.
“Keep that emerald safe,” he said, smiling like it was a joke.
“I will.”
He kissed her. Walked up the gangway. Didn’t look back.
The letters came for a while. November. December. A long one in January that talked about home. Snow. Missing her.
Then February. Nothing. Nothing again in March.
She didn’t write to ask why. She already knew.
She wasn’t the kind of woman he’d marry. She’d known it that first night in the club and every night in the room with the window. She was what happened during the war. She had loved him anyway.
She went to the floorboard.
The emerald was there, where it had always been. Where it hadn’t always been.
A flashback. The stone, in her palm. Cloudy green. Cold. Her grandmother’s hands had held it. Her mother’s. Hers.
Not only hers.
She remembered the day they came. Spring, 1941. Germans had searched her room. They knew about the emerald. They just came in. Moved her aside.
Later that week, two Americans on the stairs. Their uniforms didn’t fit the narrow turn. They were polite. Professional. They spoke English to each other, slow Danish to her.
For safekeeping, ma’am. Just until things settle down.
She was nineteen. The occupation was a year old. Her father was still alive then. He still believed in agreements. He told her to cooperate. He said the Americans were friends.
She handed it over.
They wrapped it in cloth. Carried her grandmother’s stone down the stairs and out into a street full of German soldiers. The Germans didn’t stop them.
Americans were still neutral then.
She said thank you. Standing in the doorway. Thank you to the men taking her inheritance because she could not keep it.
Four years. The emerald spent the war in a vault in Washington. Safe. Dry. Far from the Germans. Far from the Danes, who couldn’t stop them. She spent the war in Copenhagen. Learning to be invisible. Learning where to look and where not to look.
Her father was taken in ’43. She didn’t think about the emerald that night. Or the night after. Later, she did. A small green stone. What it might have bought. Passage. A bribe to the right man at the right time. She told herself there was no chance. The stone couldn’t have saved her father. She would never know.
They gave it back in the summer of ’45. A note on American paper about Danish American friendship. They handed her the cloth like a gift. We kept it safe for you.
She knew they were right to take it. That was the part she couldn’t forgive.
She said thank you again. Smiled. That night she put it under the floorboard. Didn’t look at it for months. Until she showed it to him. The man in her bed.
Once, he was not vast.Once, he was small.
He swam among other creatures.He learned hunger.He learned taking.
Act II. The Vault
Copenhagen, April 1949, in a palace room full of signatures and glassware.
Four years since the war ended. The city had rebuilt itself. Stone by stone, street by street. Pretended the scars weren’t there.
He came back with a delegation. American money rebuilding Europe. He was one of the men who decided where it went. Defense contracts. Airfields. Ports. The stones from his pocket had bought his first contract. The contracts bought everything else.
He wasn’t a sergeant anymore. He wore a suit now. Good wool. Italian shoes. He’d learned to shake hands like a man who expected his calls returned.
They met at Christiansborg Palace. Twelve of them sent someone. They would build a museum, they called it. A vault. Somewhere to protect what mattered. A symbol that civilization still meant something.
He didn’t expect to see her.
She was standing by the window when he walked in. Blonde. Older. The softness of girlhood gone. She was talking to a Belgian, something about transit routes. She held herself like a woman who belonged in the room.
He stopped.
She turned, mid-sentence, as if she felt it.
Their eyes met.
Four years. No letters. No explanation. Just silence, and now. Her face in a window across a room full of diplomats.
She excused herself from the Belgian. Walked toward him. Unhurried. Like she’d known he would come, sooner or later.
“You came back,” she said.
He tried to smile. The old smile.
“I told you I would.”
She looked at him. Just looked.
“Yes,” she said. “You did.”
They talked. Small talk.
He asked about her work. She was part of the Danish delegation. Her family had influence, old connections. A name that opened doors even after an occupation.
She asked about his. Defense. Contracts. Building things.
“You’ve done well,” she said.
“I got lucky.”
“You got rich.”
He laughed. She didn’t.
She reached for her glass. Water, not wine. The light from the window caught her hand.
A ring. Gold. Simple. The way the sunshine gleamed from it.
He looked at it too long. Blinked. “Married,” he said. Not a question.
“Three years.”
“Kids?”
“Two boys.”
He nodded. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to ask: Does he know about me? About Copenhagen? About the room with the window and the emerald under the floor?
He didn’t ask.
Instead, he said, “He’s a lucky man.”
She looked at him. That same look from the bar in 1945.
“Yes,” she said. “He is.”
The ceremony was brief.
Twelve of them signed. Simple language. What we place here, we protect together. No one takes. No one sells. No one walks away.
The document sat on the table. They raised their glasses. They believed it, that afternoon. Every one of them.
He signed with a fountain pen. Blue ink. His name large, confident.
She signed after him. Small letters. Neat.
He watched her write her name. The ring caught the light again.
He thought about the emerald. The cloudy stone he’d handed back without looking. That green. That cold. That far north.
He knew she still had it.
Afterward, there was champagne. Handshakes. The murmur of diplomats pretending the world was safe. Someone lifted a camera. They held their glasses up and didn’t move.
She stood across the room. Holding a glass she hadn’t touched.
He was talking to someone. A minister, or a general. He didn’t remember. He kept watching her.
She didn’t look at him.
Then she did.
Their eyes met. Just for a moment. The way they had in Tivoli, in the jazz club, in the room with the window.
She looked away.
He didn’t. He couldn’t.
No one remembers when he grew too large.No one remembers the first timeno one could stop him.
Act III. The Commitment
Copenhagen, the winter after, when the vault is finally finished, and the paint is still wet.
Men in shirtsleeves carried crates through a side door. The air smelled like sawdust and cold stone. Someone tracked snow in. It melted into small dark puddles along the floor.
She came back. To see it done. Place her treasure.
They moved the table from the palace. The chairs. Hung a photograph on the wall. Twelve faces, young and certain. Put it in a room in the back of the vault.
The flag room. Fabric and thread. The original documents behind glass.
He went into the vault first. The American. He carried a torch. Bronze. Heavy. Cast from the same mold as the one in the harbor back home.
Liberty, he said. Loud enough for everyone to hear. They gave him the center case. Best glass. Best light.
He stood there a moment after they locked it. Hand on the case. Admiring.
She went last.
The emerald. Wrapped in cloth. Cloudy even under good light. A stone you could lose in a pocket if you weren’t paying attention.
A guard opened the case in the back corner. The hinges creaked. Small sound. She set the emerald down herself.
The glass closed. The lock turned.
She didn’t look at him to see if he noticed.
That night, there was a party. Chandeliers and champagne. They congratulated themselves.
He looked for her across the room.
She wasn’t there. Someone said she’d left early. Her boys.
He stood by the window. Watched the rain streak the glass. Finished his drink, set the glass down, and didn’t look for her again.
Later, he walked alone.
The canals were black. Cut by thin lines of light from the streetlamps. Somewhere a radio played jazz behind a curtain. The sound came and went as he passed.
He stopped on a bridge. Leaned on the stone rail. The water moved beneath him without hurry. It had seen Germans. It had seen Americans.
He heard footsteps and didn’t turn.
A man beside him. A shadow. He rested his hands on the rail, like he belonged there. Plain face. Gray coat. They stood in silence.
“Who keeps the keys?” the man asked.
He didn’t answer.
“If you needed them,” the man said. Quiet. Like he already knew. “Would they come? Would she?”
The man was gone. No name. No farewell. Just footsteps fading over wet stone.
He stayed on the bridge a long time. A stranger. A cold night. A man laughed under an awning. A cigarette burned down to his fingers.
He looked back once. The bridge was empty. He wasn’t sure it had ever not been.
Years passed. The vault got new locks. New rules written in language that looked like safety.
He kept the question anyway.
She raised her sons. Watched them grow tall. Watched them learn to shake hands and stand straight and look men in the eye.
She didn’t talk about the American. Didn’t talk about the room with the window.
Then. Someone came for the torch. Men who hated what it meant. Who wanted to melt it down, snuff it out, prove it was never real.
They didn’t get it. But they got close. Close enough to crack the glass. Close enough to draw blood.
He didn’t call the others. They came the next morning. Before he could ask.
What we place here, we protect together.
She didn’t hesitate. She sent her sons. Her kitchen. Early morning. Gray light through the window.
Coffee on the stove, gone bitter. No one had touched it.
Boys at the table. Not boys anymore. Men. Her men. Uniforms pressed. Bags by the door. One of them kept adjusting a strap that didn’t need adjusting. The other ate without tasting.
She didn’t cry. Didn’t make it about her.
She reached across the table and flattened a wrinkle on a sleeve with two fingers. Quick. She stood in the doorway until the sound of their boots faded to nothing.
He didn’t need them. Not really. He had enough men. Enough money. Enough guns.
But she sent them anyway. For his torch. For the promise. For the name she had signed in small neat letters.
The others came too. For a while.
Then they drifted. Other priorities. Other problems. His torch was his problem now.
She stayed. Her sons stayed. For eighteen years, they stayed.
Some of them didn’t come home.
They thought they could build a cage for him.
Twelve of them.Stone and iron and promises.
The Leviathan watched.Patient.He learned to wait.
Act IV. The Change
Years later, at receptions with marble floors and too much champagne.
He found her by the window, the way he always used to.
“That emerald of yours,” he said. Like it had just crossed his mind.
She looked at him.
“It’s not safe back there. In the corner like that. Anyone could take it.”
“No one’s going to take it.”
“You don’t know that.” He set the glass down. Looked past her.
He started asking questions. At meetings. Dinners. In hallways where people pretended not to listen. Acting like he had forgotten.
That emerald of the far north. Whose is that again?
She heard about it. She always heard about it.
Then he sent his son.
Just a visit, he said. Friendly. The son walked through the vault with his hands in his pockets. Lingered by her case. Asked the guards questions they didn’t know how to answer.
She wasn’t there. But she heard about that, too.
He started talking about wolves.
“The wolves are circling. If I don’t take it, they will.” he told her.
“I’ve been seeing wolves my whole life.”
“Not like these. You can’t stop them. Not with what you have.”
“I’ve protected it my whole life.”
“Your security?” He laughed. “You know what you’ve got? Two dog sleds. That’s it. Two dog sleds.”
People laughed with him. She heard about it. She thought about her sons. The ones who didn’t come home. She didn’t laugh.
He named an envoy. Made it official. A man in a suit who showed up with a leather briefcase and a pen that clicked when he smiled. He smiled a lot. Used words like partnership. Protection. Mutual interest.
He offered to buy it. Named a price. More than a cloudy green stone could ever be worth. More than sentiment. More than memory.
She refused. “It’s not for sale.”
“Everything’s for sale.”
“I could keep it safe for you. Just until things settle down.”
She refused. “Things are settled.”
“They’re not. And you know it.” He said, “The wolves…”
She refused. “There are always wolves.”
He leaned forward. Same big hands. Same confidence. Older face.
“The vault isn’t enough. You know that. I know that. I’m the only one willing to say it.”
She refused. “It’s not yours to take.”
She reinforced the case. New glass. New locks.
The others saw it, too. She didn’t need to remind them. What we place here, we protect together.
He kept pushing.
“We’re going to do this,” he said. “Whether you like it or not.”
She looked at him. The man from the bar in Copenhagen. The man who’d handed back her emerald without looking. The man whose torch she’d protected for eighteen years. She thought about the boys who didn’t come home.
“The easy way or the hard way,” he said. “But we’re going to do it.”
He stared at her.
She didn’t look away.
“I am not for sale,” she said. “And neither is the emerald.”
She was ready for him to try to take the emerald.
She had guards. Glass. She had the others, or some of them, standing with her. She thought she knew what he wanted.
God asks,Will he make a covenant with you?Speak to you soft words?Keep his promises?
No.He will not.
He grows hungry.He forgets the covenantshe made when he was small.
He sees what he wants.He takes what he sees.
Even the Leviathan owes God a death.We all do.But not yet.Not tonight.
The Leviathan does what he wants.Who can subdue the Leviathan?
Act V. The Night
Late, after closing, when the vault is quiet, and the flag room is unlocked.
He came in through the back. The old door. The one they never used anymore.
He had a key. Of course he had a key. He’d paid for the locks. The guards were watching the emerald. The others were watching the emerald. Everyone was watching the emerald.
He walked past the room with the emerald to the flag room. A hallway no one guarded. Nobody ever guarded it.
He walked slowly. No hurry. He had time.
The door was unlocked. It was always unlocked. Who would steal flags?
He stepped inside. It smelled like old cloth and paper. Twelve flags hung. The promise sat behind glass. The photograph watched from the wall.
He stood in the center of the room. The place where they had laid the first stone. Where they had believed.
The curtains were old. The paper was dry. Seventy years of certainty, boxed and filed and forgotten.
He reached into his pocket.
The Zippo. Black crackle metal. Rounded edges, worn smooth. He’d carried it since the war. Since Copenhagen. Since the room with the window and the woman who’d shown him an emerald he didn’t want.
He ran his thumb across the worn edges. Took it out of his pocket.
Get full access to I Believe at joelkdouglas.substack.com/subscribe