Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast

The party is split.

Ze and Boris are riding the rails, while Cleo, Robin and Trevor take to the skies aboard Jordan to reclaim their hard-won spoiler and rescue R.E.E.S.E. from the galaxy’s worst parking job.

They hatch a quick plan with a healthy dose of “Robin diplomacy” Somehow, the Terrans, the Synths and the Wraiths all seem to be working together for once, forcing Cleo into yet another lesson on why “just smoke everyone” is not a reliable conflict resolution strategy.

With the train’s resident explosives enthusiast in tow, Team Bastard attempts a mid-air rescue, complete with body-snatching, questionable ethics, and far more confidence than planning.

For once, everything actually seems to be coming together.

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Reda

Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Far east of Rhalloran, a caravan winds its meager way through the woods. We find ourselves on the trail, with a mercenary, an alchemist, an old witch, and a hundred score displaced by the wars of empire. Within the myriad worlds of the caravan, there is great coin to be made tonight. Unfortunately, the alchemist isn’t the only one who knows it.

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠PATREON

This is HOMEGAME, a Patron exclusive return to our fantastical Bastard roots- the high fantasy worlds of Rhalloran! We’re keeping in the derail, the rules chat, the meta of all metas, and dammit, we’re eating snacks at the table while we do it. Pull up a chair, and grab a brew- because we’re bringing you into our HOMEGAME!

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Pencerdd Cwenhild the Unhale -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Siege --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Bjorn Hurri

Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For nearly six years, we have roamed the far reaches of outer space.

But once upon a time, we were magic. We were pirates! We were sword and shield fighters in an arcane land..

..we were also recording on headsets and eating crisps into the microphone.

So it’s high time we return to the fantasy, and high tail it back to the grind of pre-plumbing!

Tonight we’re building characters, and we’re spilling out all of our ideas. This is the episode zero of our HOMEGAME, so pull up a chair and meet Cwenhild, and Siege- the raw, rough edged dream-vessels of our first “casual” game in at least 600 years.

Magic?? Crossbows? Table snacks? WE’RE BACK BABY.

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠PATREON

This is HOMEGAME, a Patron exclusive return to our fantastical Bastard roots- the high fantasy worlds of Rhalloran! We’re keeping in the derail, the rules chat, the meta of all metas, and dammit, we’re eating snacks at the table while we do it. Pull up a chair, and grab a brew- because we’re bringing you into our HOMEGAME!

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Pencerdd Cwenhild the Unhale -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Siege --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Bjorn Hurri

Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Team Bastard is winning the race, but losing the war.
Turns out, leaving a spaceship full of stolen bioweapons in a parking lot after live streaming the theft to the whole galaxy was not the best plan. R.E.E.S.E. has sounded the alarm and called for help as mysterious interlopers kick down his door. Our racers face a tough call: how do you keep one foot in the race but steal your ride back at the same time? As usual, the answer is somewhere in between teamwork, theft, and trains.

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠-

Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The dangers of the track chew into the racers like they’re free fried tentacles with extra sauce.

Things are heating up in the second stretch, and the Bastards aren’t the even the only ones that brought explosives! Despite that, they manage to power through AND teach young Robin something about the virtues of family, while enjoying a trains-eye view. (You’ll get that joke later. Maybe.)

Everything is looking pretty golden when they get a little call from R.E.E.S.E. on the walkie.

He’s got company, and they left him unattended in the parking lot with a hull full of powdered bioweapon and a universe full of heat.

Weird choice in hindsight.

Starring:

DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Daniel Matthews

Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews

Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

-

Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com

Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices